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I want to know if I'm a bi or not


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I'm having a confusion, whether I'm a bi or not. I've been giving it a lots of thoughts but i couldn't come up with a answer.

Just what does it mean to be a bi? I have lots of questions inside my head but i can't quite seem to,u know tell it out.

It'd be really great of someone gives me a solution to my confused state.

Hope to hear a response.

Thanks for reading this far.

 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @PearlDebi

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here, and that means I give advice to those who reach out to us. 

I'm wondering, can you tell me more about why you're confused about being bi or not? What thoughts and feelings are you having that are making you question yourself? 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi! I know I'm a little late, but I've had a similar struggle. 

To most people, bisexuality/biromanticism is the sexual/romantic attraction to both male and female genders. I used to think I was a Bi Aroace, until I realized that a qpr with a female makes more sense to me than a qpr with a male. plus, girls are prettier ;)

anyhoo, you can be bi and still have a preference for guys or gals. 

basically, if you feel attraction to more than one gender but not everybody, then you could be bi!

however, if you feel attraction to anyone, then i suggest researching pansexuality/panromanitcism, which is different.

 

hope this helps!!!

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  • 3 weeks later...

@Monsoon

I had a guy crush before but it didn't go well so i let it go

But recently i think I'm crushing on one of my girl best friends

And another one of the reasons is that when one of my friends asked me how u wud feel if a girl asked u out, i would've straight out said no if it was before

But at that time i hesitated and i thought that i wouldn't mind that

 

 

 

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On 8/9/2022 at 2:31 PM, aroacebananas said:

Hi! I know I'm a little late, but I've had a similar struggle. 

To most people, bisexuality/biromanticism is the sexual/romantic attraction to both male and female genders. I used to think I was a Bi Aroace, until I realized that a qpr with a female makes more sense to me than a qpr with a male. plus, girls are prettier ;)

anyhoo, you can be bi and still have a preference for guys or gals. 

basically, if you feel attraction to more than one gender but not everybody, then you could be bi!

however, if you feel attraction to anyone, then i suggest researching pansexuality/panromanitcism, which is different.

hope this helps!!!

What about different levels/types of attraction to male vs female?

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23 hours ago, PearlDebi said:

@Monsoon

I had a guy crush before but it didn't go well so i let it go

But recently i think I'm crushing on one of my girl best friends

And another one of the reasons is that when one of my friends asked me how u wud feel if a girl asked u out, i would've straight out said no if it was before

But at that time i hesitated and i thought that i wouldn't mind that

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing this with me. It's really helped me to understand more about your thoughts and feelings regarding your sexuality. I'm wondering then, what do you think needs to happen in order to explore this more and figure out your identity?

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On 8/29/2022 at 9:43 PM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing this with me. It's really helped me to understand more about your thoughts and feelings regarding your sexuality. I'm wondering then, what do you think needs to happen in order to explore this more and figure out your identity?

I don't know

I think it's my mentality 

One of my friend thinks it's just some changes one experiences at this age and that I'll feel disgusted about this thought when i think about it in the future 

But i don't think that's all there is to it

Some part of me wishes i was a bi and some some part of me wishes to believe my friend 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hey there,

It's definitely normal to have a period of questioning, but I think it's tricky to say you will feel disgusted when you think back in the future because there is nothing disgusting about being attracted to more than one type of gender; what do you think? Also, can you tell me more about wishing to be bi?

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1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It's definitely normal to have a period of questioning, but I think it's tricky to say you will feel disgusted when you think back in the future because there is nothing disgusting about being attracted to more than one type of gender; what do you think? Also, can you tell me more about wishing to be bi? 

Like when i say that i like a girl or a boy or anyone

I just want someone to support me 

To say that what I'm feeling isn't wrong 

Cuz I'm facing some situations lately that has my confidence down

So in addition to that my feeling for her are also making myself question if what I'm doing is wrong , like am i weird for liking her? 

I know there's nothing disgusting about it but... Putting ideas into other people's heads is sure scary

It makes me question myself when other people say it's like that 

Maybe some part of me is sure that I'm a bi but at the same time the other part wants to believe in what my friends say 

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6 hours ago, PearlDebi said:

Like when i say that i like a girl or a boy or anyone

I just want someone to support me 

To say that what I'm feeling isn't wrong 

Cuz I'm facing some situations lately that has my confidence down

So in addition to that my feeling for her are also making myself question if what I'm doing is wrong , like am i weird for liking her? 

I know there's nothing disgusting about it but... Putting ideas into other people's heads is sure scary

It makes me question myself when other people say it's like that 

Maybe some part of me is sure that I'm a bi but at the same time the other part wants to believe in what my friends say 

Hey,

Well, I can tell you for fact that there is nothing wrong with your feelings; you are not weird, and it's completely normal to have feelings towards more than one gender. You are perfect the way you are, don't lose sight of that :) 

It sounds like you're having negative thoughts about yourself, and it might take a bit of conscious effort to swap them with positive, more healthy thoughts. What do you think? 

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16 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Well, I can tell you for fact that there is nothing wrong with your feelings; you are not weird, and it's completely normal to have feelings towards more than one gender. You are perfect the way you are, don't lose sight of that :) 

It sounds like you're having negative thoughts about yourself, and it might take a bit of conscious effort to swap them with positive, more healthy thoughts. What do you think? 

Maybe i really do need more positive thoughts

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1 hour ago, PearlDebi said:

Maybe i really do need more positive thoughts

Yeah, positive thoughts are so helpful and powerful. I think that we are all guilty of being hard on ourselves, and I always say to people that you should treat yourself the way you'd treat someone you care about, and that includes the way you think about yourself. For example, the things you think about yourself, you wouldn't say them to a friend, right? You would try to uplift and support them. What do you think? 

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