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How do I deal with rejection,


Jaleva
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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Jaleva

Welcome to the DTL community.  I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. I'm really sorry to hear that you're still feeling so hurt four years later. When we are feeling hurt, one of the best ways to move forward is to be open about how you're feeling. What do you think? Why do you think it's still hurting so much after all this time?

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  • Digital Mentor
9 hours ago, Jaleva said:

Alot,I got pregnant and had to do this journey of raising my son alone,one I heal,one day I wake up and feel like nothing matters,the rejection 

I'm wondering, do you think you've been able to have the time and space to deal with this properly? 

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Yes,I have actually been able to date ,other guys who treated me better but still,I have realized that to this day it hurts like it happened yesterday .The worst part is that he has never as pologuzed,he makes me feel like it was my fault to get pregnant 

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  • Digital Mentor
5 hours ago, Jaleva said:

Yes,I have actually been able to date ,other guys who treated me better but still,I have realized that to this day it hurts like it happened yesterday .The worst part is that he has never as pologuzed,he makes me feel like it was my fault to get pregnant 

Yeah, that's tough that you have never been able to get the apology because they can really help us to process the emotions around hurtful experiences, however, you can definitely move forward without one as well. When you've been holding onto feelings for a while, some people find that it helps to communicate those feelings towards the person which could be done through writing a letter to them. In this letter, it can often help to not expect a response, because if you don't get one, you can still feel like you don't have closure, but to just let it all out on your terms can be empowering and help you to move forward. What do you think? 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

Yeah, that's tricky that he thinks you should be sorry for getting pregnant. I think that if you do speak to him about your feelings or communicate them somehow, it's important to have no expectation for an apology/acknowledgement of your feelings, and the key part of doing this is to let your feelings out and being able to recognise that you have conviction in what you are saying and don't need to hear an apology; do you know what I mean? 

Also, with your confidence, I'm wondering, could you have a look over our support guide here and maybe think about what you'd like to try? https://www.ditchthelabel.org/overcoming-low-self-esteem/ 

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