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Crush on CoWorker


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We are working over a year now and at first i did not care about her, in fact she was totally invisible to me and i even may have been rude to her like not giving a damn what she was talking about when she spoke to me.  She is a nice person who speaks to everybody at work and also keep talking to me nicely even if i did not give her to much attention and it was like this for long time. But for the last couple of months things have changed, She told me she was in a long relationship and broke up, we started to have more deep conversations some flirt here and there and I started looking at her differently. Then I was off work for a week and texted her asking  for a coffee  but she never replied.  Turns out she went back to her Ex boyfriend just to broke up again after a week but she never told me that, I kept talking to her nicely and not asking why she never reply to my text message but now i feel she is acting different and avoiding me. The problem now is that I have huge feelings for her and can´t get her out of my head and this his affecting my life and work performance and i don't know what I should do.   

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. I'm sorry to hear that your feelings are having such an impact on your life and work. I'm wondering, if you had a friend in this situation, what advice would you give to them? 

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I would say to try to forget her but that is easier said than done.  How can you do that if you are thinking about her all the time and i don´t want to be weird and make her uncomfortable or anything like that, but this is  killing me inside maybe because of rejection, i don´t know. Never felt this before.

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2 hours ago, Luis_f said:

I would say to try to forget her but that is easier said than done.  How can you do that if you are thinking about her all the time and i don´t want to be weird and make her uncomfortable or anything like that, but this is  killing me inside maybe because of rejection, i don´t know. Never felt this before.

Yeah, I totally get what you're saying about how forgetting is easier said than done. I think that at this point, the best thing to remember is that time will help these feelings to pass; there really is no rushing, and as painful as it might feel to know that you will likely feel this way for a while, I think that trying to accept that and take comfort in knowing so can be quite powerful. What do you think? 

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13 hours ago, Luis_f said:

I think time will make it easier, but right now it´s still not fading away as i see her everyday at work.  Sometimes all it cross my mind is go tell her how i feel.

Yeah, time and space are both the best healers of this kind of hurt. Is there any way you can get space from her at work at all? 

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Yes. I can avoid her if i want but she will notice i´m avoiding because she need things from me for her job.  well i guess i will do that and if she asks what is wrong i may have to tell her what is going on and have a final conversation and deal with it.

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23 minutes ago, Luis_f said:

Yes. I can avoid her if i want but she will notice i´m avoiding because she need things from me for her job.  well i guess i will do that and if she asks what is wrong i may have to tell her what is going on and have a final conversation and deal with it.

Yeah, what would it be like for you to have that conversation? Do you think it would be helpful? 

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