How the hell do I deal with homophobia?

[urfavekpopstan !]

As a masc lesbian for like 2 years I still don't know how to deal with homophobia. My whole family is completely homophobic and I know I cannot change them but the think they can change me by forcing femininity on me and telling me "its just a phase". School is not any better I get told to "kill myself" and "being gay is a mental illness" some guy in school even wanted to fight me and threatened to call my parents that I was seeing a girl!!

[Monsoon]

On 6/27/2022 at 10:51 PM, mxhaxnaeem said:

As a masc lesbian for like 2 years I still don't know how to deal with homophobia. My whole family is completely homophobic and I know I cannot change them but the think they can change me by forcing femininity on me and telling me "its just a phase". School is not any better I get told to "kill myself" and "being gay is a mental illness" some guy in school even wanted to fight me and threatened to call my parents that I was seeing a girl!!

Hey @mxhaxnaeem

I'm sorry to hear your'e having such a tough time with your family and at school. It sounds like things can be pretty intense for you, and asking how you can deal with this is a really good question. I'm wondering, how is all of this making you feel? What kind of impact do you think it has on your life? 

[urfavekpopstan !]

23 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @mxhaxnaeem

I'm sorry to hear your'e having such a tough time with your family and at school. It sounds like things can be pretty intense for you, and asking how you can deal with this is a really good question. I'm wondering, how is all of this making you feel? What kind of impact do you think it has on your life? 

This is all making me feel embarrassed about liking a person and it makes me feel disgusted. This has a extremely negative impact on my life because since I am indeed a minor I cannot move out yet, but once I hit 18 Im definitely moving out knowing my house is a unsafe and toxic environment.

[Monsoon]

18 hours ago, mxhaxnaeem said:

This is all making me feel embarrassed about liking a person and it makes me feel disgusted. This has a extremely negative impact on my life because since I am indeed a minor I cannot move out yet, but once I hit 18 Im definitely moving out knowing my house is a unsafe and toxic environment.

Hey,

Yeah, it sounds like it will be good for you to get out of your environment and find a new, safe space to thrive in. I think that it's pretty normal to feel embarrassed and disgusted considering the space you're in which is so unsupportive of LGBTQ+ people, so it's hard to not take in those negative messages about your identity; what do you think? Also, how are you feeling today?

[urfavekpopstan !]

5 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Yeah, it sounds like it will be good for you to get out of your environment and find a new, safe space to thrive in. I think that it's pretty normal to feel embarrassed and disgusted considering the space you're in which is so unsupportive of LGBTQ+ people, so it's hard to not take in those negative messages about your identity; what do you think? Also, how are you feeling today?

I think your right. Im feeling not so good!

[Monsoon]

Hey,

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling so good. Would you like to tell me more? What kind of thoughts and feelings are you having? 

[urfavekpopstan !]

8 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling so good. Would you like to tell me more? What kind of thoughts and feelings are you having? 

I am heaving really bad thoughts. All I want to do is make my parents happy, but i also want to be myself. I know in my heart I cannot do both. I am in a really bad situation because many people are ratting my sexuality out to my parents and all I do is deny it. They think I don't love them because I am not changing for them and they are manipulating me to change.

[Monsoon]

Hey,

I think that it can be really tough when we feel like we cannot make others happy by being yourself. We all have the need to be liked and accepted by others, and when we feel like we cannot get that, it can be really upsetting - what do you think?

Can you tell me more about what life looks like for you when you're being yourself? 

[urfavekpopstan !]

7 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

I think that it can be really tough when we feel like we cannot make others happy by being yourself. We all have the need to be liked and accepted by others, and when we feel like we cannot get that, it can be really upsetting - what do you think?

Can you tell me more about what life looks like for you when you're being yourself? 

Yeah, it makes me quite upset knowing I won't make my parents happy, but its kind of like they're never satisfied with me and never have been. When I am being myself, I am so much happier, but its been pretty hard being myself. My parents are really trying their hardest to force femininity on me by buying me feminine clothing and makeup and whenever I pick up literally ANYTHING they're like "its too masculine" which I hate. So many people have tried to change my mind by telling me I was so pretty before. But, I just want to be myself without my parents saying stuff to me.

[Monsoon]

Hey,

Yeah, it can be really stressful when people try to force their ideal version of a person onto you; we should be given the space to be ourselves, and when we aren't, it's important to find places where we feel we can be authentic. I'm wondering, when do you find you can be yourself more? 

[urfavekpopstan !]

2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Yeah, it can be really stressful when people try to force their ideal version of a person onto you; we should be given the space to be ourselves, and when we aren't, it's important to find places where we feel we can be authentic. I'm wondering, when do you find you can be yourself more? 

Yeah, it used to be at school, but some people kind of ratted me out to their parents and my parents always find out. I don't know somewhere where I feel comfortable being myself, it also used to be around friends but they judge me too sometimes and I don't feel as included if that makes sense?

[Monsoon]

Hey,

I'll send you a message about this now if that's okay? Speak soon!