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Trans friend is lowkey getting bullied


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Hey,

So a trans guy (AFAB) in my class is lowkey getting bullied by some other guys meaning getting misgendered, being told he's dressing to feminine (for example this guy told my friend that his shorts are a good start but the shirt is too feminine), being called by his deadname (he called someone a different name for fun like it was a completely silly name and than this other dude just goes and randomly says his deadname without even being involved in the conversation) 

One time I asked why he won't say something back and he goes "it's normal for me" and I just think that he shouldn't have to suffer (obviously i don't want anyone to suffer) 

Also with one of the guys I had a fight because he said the n word (for the record he is a white cus man who tried to justify what he said by saying that the word exists and after that he told me I'm just being dramatic)

So my question is should I just talk to my friend directly or don't say anything to him about that?

 

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9 hours ago, Juliasta said:

Hey,

So a trans guy (AFAB) in my class is lowkey getting bullied by some other guys meaning getting misgendered, being told he's dressing to feminine (for example this guy told my friend that his shorts are a good start but the shirt is too feminine), being called by his deadname (he called someone a different name for fun like it was a completely silly name and than this other dude just goes and randomly says his deadname without even being involved in the conversation) 

One time I asked why he won't say something back and he goes "it's normal for me" and I just think that he shouldn't have to suffer (obviously i don't want anyone to suffer) 

Also with one of the guys I had a fight because he said the n word (for the record he is a white cus man who tried to justify what he said by saying that the word exists and after that he told me I'm just being dramatic)

So my question is should I just talk to my friend directly or don't say anything to him about that?

Hey there,

It sounds like your friend is having a tough time at the moment, but it sounds like you're really caring and supportive which I'm sure he appreciates. I'm thinking, it sounds like people in your class may need some education around what you can and cannot say to trans people. Have you thought about telling an adult in the class about what's going on?

Also, do you mean talk to your friend about how the guy said the n word?

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 6/19/2022 at 10:45 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It sounds like your friend is having a tough time at the moment, but it sounds like you're really caring and supportive which I'm sure he appreciates. I'm thinking, it sounds like people in your class may need some education around what you can and cannot say to trans people. Have you thought about telling an adult in the class about what's going on?

Also, do you mean talk to your friend about how the guy said the n word?

Hi,

You're right some people in my class could use some education on certain topics. I did think about telling a teacher but didn't wanna make my friend uncomfortable because he probably won't say anything. And no I meant talk to him about saying that he's used to being treated transphobic (sorry if it was a little confusing). 

Thanks for the advice I appreciate it.

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8 hours ago, Juliasta said:

Hi,

You're right some people in my class could use some education on certain topics. I did think about telling a teacher but didn't wanna make my friend uncomfortable because he probably won't say anything. And no I meant talk to him about saying that he's used to being treated transphobic (sorry if it was a little confusing). 

Thanks for the advice I appreciate it.

You're welcome for the advice. Would you like more, or are you okay for now?

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On 6/18/2022 at 7:27 PM, Juliasta said:

Hey,

So a trans guy (AFAB) in my class is lowkey getting bullied by some other guys meaning getting misgendered, being told he's dressing to feminine (for example this guy told my friend that his shorts are a good start but the shirt is too feminine), being called by his deadname (he called someone a different name for fun like it was a completely silly name and than this other dude just goes and randomly says his deadname without even being involved in the conversation) 

One time I asked why he won't say something back and he goes "it's normal for me" and I just think that he shouldn't have to suffer (obviously i don't want anyone to suffer) 

Also with one of the guys I had a fight because he said the n word (for the record he is a white cus man who tried to justify what he said by saying that the word exists and after that he told me I'm just being dramatic)

So my question is should I just talk to my friend directly or don't say anything to him about that?

First of all, I have to say I love how you are concerned for him and want to help, that is such a huge step. Second, He should not be immune to being bullied, I used to have the same mindset when I was being bullied for my sexuality, but I learned the people who were bullying me just had nothing better to do. Third, I think you should privately discuss this with your friend and let him know you have his back. Though it could be extremely difficult to stand up, you can do that! or simply just give the bullies a dry reply or even no reply so they will simply get bored on picking on your friend, but it it gets really brutal, then definitely do something. Hope that helped!

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