relationship problem

[Smiley8unny]

Uhh Hi. I am pansexual and I have a lil problem with my relationships. So I've been dating this guy for about 3 months(I'm a girl btw) and well I thought I was in love with him  but there's always something in me hoping he'd just dump me so I can go back to kissing my Bestfriend...besides my boyfriend seems like he's lost interest in me cause I mean, he doesn't text unless I do or he doesn't even respond to me texts. So yeah that's making me lose interest in him. I don't know if every girl does this but well my bestie and I are in an open relationship and I've been avoiding her cause it feels like I'm cheating on my boyfriend. I really like my girlfriend and I don't want to lose her over a boy but I also don't wanna break my boyfriends' heart. Hah...honestly feels like I'm just venting cause I keep veering off track  but if anyone has advice on how to make a guy lose interest in you please share

[Monsoon]

Hey there @Smiley8unny

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us :) 

I think that from what you've said, it sounds like you could do with having a chat with your boyfriend to see where you're both at; honesty is the best policy, and being open about how you are feeling will help you to move forward and figure out what's next. What do you think? By the way, does your boyfriend know about your girlfriend? 

[Smiley8unny]

Thank you  @Monsoon

I haven't told my boyfriend about my girlfriend but my girlfriend knows about him. I would love to tell him about how I feel but I don't want to hurt him. He's aware of my attraction to women and that bothers him so I don't usually bring it up.

[Monsoon]

20 hours ago, Smiley8unny said:

Thank you  @Monsoon

I haven't told my boyfriend about my girlfriend but my girlfriend knows about him. I would love to tell him about how I feel but I don't want to hurt him. He's aware of my attraction to women and that bothers him so I don't usually bring it up.

Hey there,

I'm wondering, if you were in your boyfriend's position, would you want to know if your partner was seeing someone else? 

[Smiley8unny]

5 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm wondering, if you were in your boyfriend's position, would you want to know if your partner was seeing someone else? 

When you put it like that...I totally wouldn't wanna know cause it would result in a breakup or possibly a rift in our relationship.  Logically speaking I'd be all up in her business and I'd give her so much attention she'll only like me. Problem is my boyfriend hardly texts anymore as if he's taking me for granted and boy do we fight about everything. I've decided, I simply don't like him anymore and he probably feels the same way but doesn't wanna break up. So I guess my next question is how do I tell him? 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

When telling him, I think that you just have to be open and honest. It's hard to plan what to say, and it's really important to speak from the heart. Transparency is so key in a relationship, whether it's about how you're feeling about the whole relationship or around other partners that they don't know about; the honesty is so key to trust, even if you're feeling like you're not fond of them anymore. What do you think?