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I want to transition but my mom disagrees


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I want to medically transition in about a year when I'm old enough, but my mom thinks I'm to Young to be making this decision. I've told her about my disphoria but she says it's because I'm a teen girl and it's normal. I'm legally changinf my name and she is fine with that, she just doesn't want me to start T. And she thinks she knows everything but she doesn't. She says 'once you start you have to take it forever" Wich is only partially true and when I try to educate her she says "oh yeah, I forgot. Your the adult and you know it ALL."

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It sounds like your mom is heavily in denial. If she won't listen to you, I'd recommend showing her research articles, like (https://whatweknow.inequality.cornell.edu/topics/lgbt-equality/what-does-the-scholarly-research-say-about-the-well-being-of-transgender-people/, from Cornell University) and/or documentaries on being trans, dysphoria, and/or how her support would be the best thing for you at this time, but idk and it's just a suggestion.


Also if you're under 16 and/or below the tanner 4 stage of puberty, you do have the option of starting puberty blockers, which basically stops the production of hormones, and there's the possibility of chest fat reduction, and of course the stopping of periods will happen with that. As this is completely reversible, with no permanent effects, your mom might be more open to you starting this (even though I know you'd rather start T, and it's not perfect, but it's an option). But again, idk, as I'm not you, and this is just a suggestion. Hopefully your mom changes her mind, in a sense, sooner rather than later, and even if she doesn't (unfortunately this is a possibility), after you're legally an adult, you have fully autonomy and so legally you can go on T and/or just be yourself, even though I know this isn't perfect and that family support would be nice - but again it's just an option.

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Hey OLIVES776,


Thanks for coming to us for support; we will help you through this.


It takes a lot of courage to take such proactive steps to achieve something that you want so much.


In regard to your mother, I'm sorry to hear that she doesn't want you to start your medical transition. How does it make you feel?


It is great that you are changing your name and that she is fine about this. I think that it must be hard for her to accept that you want to transition, and she may just be worried that you're not making the right choice. Sometimes parents struggle when they first hear news like this as they haven't had enough time to process and consider everything that you have likely been processing for a long time. But just as with your name change, she may gradually understand step by step. However, you sound very confident that this is what you want and this is who you are. I think the next step is to show her how much this really means to you.


It may take some time for her to come around to the idea, but if it is what makes you happy, then she should agree to it. It is important that you tell her these feelings. Also, have a conversation with her and ask her why she doesn't want you to start - it may be that you can reassure her on lots of things.


I hope this advice helps and I look forward to hearing back from you.


-Monsoon J


P.S. That is great advice, OBELISK.



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