Should I come out?

[theknave4]

I am 14 years old and a lesbian. My family is Christian (not Catholic) and my parents are pretty accepting of the LGBT+ community, however I am still not sure if I should come out. I'm almost positive my mom thinks I'm gay and wouldn't really have an issue with it, same for my dad, but my grandmother would probably be devastated. While she isn't homophobic she probably would never look at me the same way again. We also go to a Bible Study, and while everyone there says that being gay is fine as long as you believe in the word of God, they've had conversations in which they blamed all of the problems someone was having in life on their sexuality, and said that someone "decided they were a lesbian". So I am fairly certain they think being gay is a choice. This probably wouldn't be a huge issue except for the fact that they are extremely close with my entire family. If I came out to my parents I would probably ask them not to tell the other members of our Bible Study. Should I come out?

[Monsoon]

Hey THEKNAVE4,

 

Thanks for coming to Community for support ? you are not alone in this and we are here to help you.

 

When I was going through school, coming out was such a scary thought. Even though I knew my parents would probably be fine with it, the thought was absolutely terrifying, so I know how you are feeling!

 

My advice to you would be to tell your parents first. I came out to different people over the course of around a year as I thought it was too much to do it all at once. If you decide to do this, then maybe you can start to think about telling other people i.e. Bible Study members? And it would most likely feel easier if you have the support of your parents (they may also be able to help you have those conversations if you wanted them to).

 

Here is a link to a help guide which has some great tips for coming out:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/top-11-tips-for-coming-out-as-lesbian-gay-or-bi/

 

I look forward to hearing from you ? hang in there!

 

-Monsoon J

 

[theknave4]

Hi Monsoon, and thank you for your advice. I've told a few close people that I trust and everyone I've told has reacted really well, which is great. But I'm worried about how my parents might react, the kinds of questions they'll ask. I want to be prepared when I do it, even though they will probably be fine with it. Thank you for the link as well, I will be sure to take all of that into consideration.

[Monsoon]

Hey,

 

Thanks for your reply. It's great that you have told a few people and that they reacted the way you wanted to. I still understand why you are scared to tell your parents though.

 

If they do react badly, this is not uncommon. It can come as quite a surprise to some parents, and it may just take them some time to get used to it. This can be why some parents may act negatively at first, but it is important to be patient and give them time process the news if this happens.

 

Sending positive vibes!

 

-Monsoon J