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So, i'm not diagnosed with depression but it seems pretty obvious I have it. I'm a very doubtful person so I didn't wanna come to terms with the fact that I was depressed. I thought I had to feel sad every single day when, fortunately that's not the reality for me. However, I am constantly thinking about what's the purpose of doing anything. I feel like I am just a zombie doing things because I'm trying to avoid the thoughts in my head. There are some moments where nothing sounds enjoyable. Sometimes i cry and feel the physical sadness on my heart. I miss when I was a kid and never felt this way. I miss the feeling of loving to do something. I miss those days where all I would think about is something I enjoy, and being so excited that I couldn't sleep at night like a kid on Christmas eve. I would do anything to feel that happiness again and crave something I love to do. I'm lost and I don't know what I should do for my profession, I hate my current job, i'm lost spiritually and mentally. To make matters worse I'm mostly alone. If someone has advice i'd really appreciate that.ย 

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  • Digital Mentor
7 hours ago, identitykitty said:

So, i'm not diagnosed with depression but it seems pretty obvious I have it. I'm a very doubtful person so I didn't wanna come to terms with the fact that I was depressed. I thought I had to feel sad every single day when, fortunately that's not the reality for me. However, I am constantly thinking about what's the purpose of doing anything. I feel like I am just a zombie doing things because I'm trying to avoid the thoughts in my head. There are some moments where nothing sounds enjoyable. Sometimes i cry and feel the physical sadness on my heart. I miss when I was a kid and never felt this way. I miss the feeling of loving to do something. I miss those days where all I would think about is something I enjoy, and being so excited that I couldn't sleep at night like a kid on Christmas eve. I would do anything to feel that happiness again and crave something I love to do. I'm lost and I don't know what I should do for my profession, I hate my current job, i'm lost spiritually and mentally. To make matters worse I'm mostly alone. If someone has advice i'd really appreciate that.ย 

Hi there, Iโ€™m Blondie, one of the support mentors.

Thanks so much for opening up and sharing. I realise that changing things up / making positive changes takes time but Iโ€™m wondering what you do like to do purely for fun?

Even if youโ€™re not doing it now, Iโ€™m an ideal world what does fun look like for you? It could be a specific activity for example or a favourite hobby.

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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Well its hard because things don't really sound that fun to me right now. I like to do things that give me adrenaline like roller coasters or haunted houses. I like feeling emotions like watching a really good movie. I like to draw but haven't found the motivation to do it. I enjoy working out. Playing basketball is fun when you have people to play with. I feel like deep emotional connections are sometimes what stabilize me and give my life reason and meaning but it's hard in a world where everyone is so robotic and isolated.ย 

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  • Digital Mentor
6 hours ago, identitykitty said:

Well its hard because things don't really sound that fun to me right now. I like to do things that give me adrenaline like roller coasters or haunted houses. I like feeling emotions like watching a really good movie. I like to draw but haven't found the motivation to do it. I enjoy working out. Playing basketball is fun when you have people to play with. I feel like deep emotional connections are sometimes what stabilize me and give my life reason and meaning but it's hard in a world where everyone is so robotic and isolated.ย 

I agree - the last few years have really separated us from others which is generally an unnatural way for us to live. You mentioned about finding deep emotional connections - do you find any satisfaction or pleasure in connections which aren't that deep? For example, if you joined a club or activity where that's as far as the connection went?

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