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I think I’m bi or pan but idk how to tell


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My friends started saying that they think I’m gay. And it got me thinking about it. I’ve been starting to feel attracted to people other than guys. Me and my non binary friend were fake kissing for a funny picture and I got nervous and kind of excited. I kinda liked it.  But I’m not sure if these feelings mean anything. And if they do what do they mean. Am I bi or pan?

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3 hours ago, Peach_Tea_ said:

My friends started saying that they think I’m gay. And it got me thinking about it. I’ve been starting to feel attracted to people other than guys. Me and my non binary friend were fake kissing for a funny picture and I got nervous and kind of excited. I kinda liked it.  But I’m not sure if these feelings mean anything. And if they do what do they mean. Am I bi or pan?

Hey @Peach_Tea_

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out.

I'm wondering, can you tell me more about the attractions you've been having for people as well as guys, or is it just with your nonbinary friend? 

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Hi, @Peach_Tea_!

It can be quite confusing during the sexuality questioning stage to sort out your thoughts and feelings... I was in a similar stage in terms of feeling attracted to more than one gender before realizing that I'm bi. Just so you know, it is completely okay to question your sexuality, and that it's a normal process. :)

I recommend researching the bi and pan terms, as well as similar terms like polysexual or omnisexual to get a better grasp on how these terms are defined. Bisexuality is basically an attraction to two or more genders that are usually (but sometimes not limited to) men and women (and yes, nonbinary counts too!), whereas pansexuality is an attraction to people for who they are, regardless of gender. @Monsoon asked something really important, which was if you're experiencing attractions with guys and other genders, or if it's just with your nonbinary friend. You should ask yourself these kinds of questions in this stage, and try to imagine scenarios such as dates with people of different genders. You could try making up a person you find attractive of each gender, and imagine going on a fun date with them. If you feel attracted to them, and are willing to find out more about their personality, it might be a sign of something bigger! Also, make sure to give yourself some time to figure things out! No need to rush the process. No one else has the right to impose a label on you, as that is decided by you only. Good luck with it! :)

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6 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @Peach_Tea_

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out.

I'm wondering, can you tell me more about the attractions you've been having for people as well as guys, or is it just with your nonbinary friend? 

Well I currently have a boyfriend that I’m pretty serious with. And I’ve had several guy crushes before. But now I’m finding myself being attracted to girls and non binary people. 

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3 hours ago, Molly9090 said:

Hi, @Peach_Tea_!

It can be quite confusing during the sexuality questioning stage to sort out your thoughts and feelings... I was in a similar stage in terms of feeling attracted to more than one gender before realizing that I'm bi. Just so you know, it is completely okay to question your sexuality, and that it's a normal process. :)

I recommend researching the bi and pan terms, as well as similar terms like polysexual or omnisexual to get a better grasp on how these terms are defined. Bisexuality is basically an attraction to two or more genders that are usually (but sometimes not limited to) men and women (and yes, nonbinary counts too!), whereas pansexuality is an attraction to people for who they are, regardless of gender. @Monsoon asked something really important, which was if you're experiencing attractions with guys and other genders, or if it's just with your nonbinary friend. You should ask yourself these kinds of questions in this stage, and try to imagine scenarios such as dates with people of different genders. You could try making up a person you find attractive of each gender, and imagine going on a fun date with them. If you feel attracted to them, and are willing to find out more about their personality, it might be a sign of something bigger! Also, make sure to give yourself some time to figure things out! No need to rush the process. No one else has the right to impose a label on you, as that is decided by you only. Good luck with it! :)

Thank you so much that really helps :) 

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1 hour ago, Peach_Tea_ said:

Well I currently have a boyfriend that I’m pretty serious with. And I’ve had several guy crushes before. But now I’m finding myself being attracted to girls and non binary people. 

Hey there,

What do you think that means for your sexuality then? Try to write down the first answer that comes to mind! 

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2 hours ago, Peach_Tea_ said:

Well I currently have a boyfriend that I’m pretty serious with. And I’ve had several guy crushes before. But now I’m finding myself being attracted to girls and non binary people. 

It depends if you have a preference, to see whether you are bi or pan. If you do have a preference of gender, the label (between the two, there are others) would be bi. But if you don’t care about someone’s gender and wouldn’t prefer any gender, the label (again, only between the two) would be pan. But as I’ve said, there are SO many labels. Don’t worry about them just yet, figure out who you definitely like first, then figure out labels later xxx

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1 hour ago, HomerCat said:

It depends if you have a preference, to see whether you are bi or pan. If you do have a preference of gender, the label (between the two, there are others) would be bi. But if you don’t care about someone’s gender and wouldn’t prefer any gender, the label (again, only between the two) would be pan. But as I’ve said, there are SO many labels. Don’t worry about them just yet, figure out who you definitely like first, then figure out labels later xxx

Ty so much xx

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