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Hi, I’m Emilie. I’m really unsure If I’m bi or not! I have just experienced liking boys, but If I think about it, I could date girls too. But I don’t like girls but I could date them. What does that mean?

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9 hours ago, Emiliegp said:

Hi, I’m Emilie. I’m really unsure If I’m bi or not! I have just experienced liking boys, but If I think about it, I could date girls too. But I don’t like girls but I could date them. What does that mean?

Hey @Emiliegp

Welcome :)

I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give support to the DTL community users. 

I'm wondering, can you tell me more about what you mean when you say you don't like girls but could date them? 

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The way I fell about boys is way different than girls. I get real feelings for boys! But for girls I don’t, but I don’t see anything wrong for me to be with a girl?

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12 hours ago, Emiliegp said:

The way I fell about boys is way different than girls. I get real feelings for boys! But for girls I don’t, but I don’t see anything wrong for me to be with a girl?

Hey there,

Thank you for telling me more. I'm wondering, do you think you could have similar feelings towards girls as well at some point? It's really good that you don't see anything wrong with being with a girl; this shows how open minded you are :) 

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2 hours ago, Emiliegp said:

I don’t think I will Get feelings for a girl, but as I say, I would love to be with a girl

Hey there,

Can I ask why you think you wont? 

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Hi hun, sounds like you’re just really supportive of the community, or you may be ace/aro with girls? But I think you may be just an ally, as you have said “there’s nothing wrong with dating a girl”. Life advice: unless you identify as exclusively ace/aro, you should only date people you love. If you like guys, date ‘em. Don’t just date girls coz you think it’s ok, but date one if you get real feelings xx luv ya 

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15 hours ago, Emiliegp said:

Because, I have never felt a real or any feeling for a girl. But for boys its really real, and I actually Get in love!

Hey,

Fair enough! Also, I love what Homer said about dating people who you have feelings for :)

How is everything else for you at the moment? Would you like support with anything else?

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I don’t think so. But I have something actually. My friend and I aren’t friends anymore bc I was really rude actually, bc I hate when she tries on a little like kid thingy to make us friends!

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I don’t know! Bc I have know them from kindergarden! And we have always been bff, but in 2019 we didn’t talk to much, but when we started in the same class in 2021 we became bff again. But she had changed so much! I don’t know Who they are now. Who are they and why are they like this! Like it annoying to think about the old days when they wasn’t a little of a pick me, and when they hadn’t this personality!

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10 hours ago, Emiliegp said:

I don’t know! Bc I have know them from kindergarden! And we have always been bff, but in 2019 we didn’t talk to much, but when we started in the same class in 2021 we became bff again. But she had changed so much! I don’t know Who they are now. Who are they and why are they like this! Like it annoying to think about the old days when they wasn’t a little of a pick me, and when they hadn’t this personality!

Hey there,

Ah, okay, so there's been a chance in the friendship then. I'm wondering, based on what you know about them now, are they the kind of person you want to be close? What's the first answer that comes to mind? 

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They aren’t really that. Bc my other bestfriend, that I love for life has a much better personality, and Thats How I want the person I wanna be close to, to be. My bestfriend is kind, helpful, and she cares for me. My other friend that I’m not friends with, are way meaner and not so care as her!

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16 hours ago, Emiliegp said:

They aren’t really that. Bc my other bestfriend, that I love for life has a much better personality, and Thats How I want the person I wanna be close to, to be. My bestfriend is kind, helpful, and she cares for me. My other friend that I’m not friends with, are way meaner and not so care as her!

Hi there, it's really common for our friendships to change as we grow older. I'm wondering if you could lead on changing the friendship a little - how often do you typically see her?

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1 hour ago, Emiliegp said:

I see her everyday almost

Sometimes we need to make slight changes, if you see her socially, could you slowly start to limit the time you spend together? Say to once or twice a week?

That doesn't work for everyone of course as some people prefer a clean break - which would you say fits you better?

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1 hour ago, Emiliegp said:

The once or twice a week is better. But I am in the same class as her! And its really annoying me because I see her everyday

I can see how that's tricky. Try to start each day in class by saying hello /being friendly as normal but limit the time before moving to be with others friends.

Than maybe suggest a dedicated time to see her so she knows you're not trying to cut her out. (For example: "Let's do xxx on Thursday after school?"

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