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My bestie left me


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Hey all, I am new here, but when I searched how to Kms easily on Google I found that forum so decided to share my story here.

I don't have many irl friends, if any because I am not good in socializing and all and I thought I didn't need any up until COVID. Then I started seeking some and what better friends to chat with than online ones. So I downloaded one app and started trying to get friends. So around 28 November my friend invitation on the app got accepted by my now I guess ex-bestie(Kat).. she was the most cheerful person I met on there. We talked a lot every day.. At around 1 December my then best friend left me... Which made me sad and you know...And Kat was there for me... Supported me. Even insisted to call. We did once. at around late December she said her dad beats her. He gets drunk and angry and... She told me I am the only one that she talked with it.. I was few days later declared to be her bestie. At around middle January she said all that all her positivity was an act and she wanted to khs. The rest of it and February went on her being inactive for a week or so and the coming back for couple of messages and me wondering if she is alive. But after she told me she had a thoughts about maybe being a guy, I asked two of my trans friends to speak with her. She went completely silent in March. I didn't know if I failed as bestie or.. on April around she told me she found a bf(which I was happy about that, because she was looking for someone) and that she was happy now.. I thought I wasn't enough to help her.. but was glad he did.. we talked maybe 3 more times and she went all silent again. But I knew she was happy so it made me happy. She was busy with her new bf and school and I guess didn't have time to speak with me. Wished me happy birthday on May and we talked little bit like the good old times.. and maybe came back 2 more times to say hey. And before couple of days someone named "Kevin" claimed that he owns the discord account and doesn't know me.. and today I got BLOCKED on discord and intsta without any explanation!!! Idk where I failed as a bestie. We talked about so much things openly. She declared me her bestie. I shared my trauma with her. My problems and she did the same.. only to decide to BLOCK ME OUT OF NOEHERE. I WAS THERE WHEN YOU NEEDED ME BUT WHERE ARE YOU NOW!!!

So at the end of all this maybe I will be the one to kms

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Abuse, Blood/Graphic Description, Death, Self-Harm, Suicide, Trauma, Violence

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13 minutes ago, DepressedPotato said:

Hey all, I am new here, but when I searched how to Kms easily on Google I found that forum so decided to share my story here.

I don't have many irl friends, if any because I am not good in socializing and all and I thought I didn't need any up until COVID. Then I started seeking some and what better friends to chat with than online ones. So I downloaded one app and started trying to get friends. So around 28 November my friend invitation on the app got accepted by my now I guess ex-bestie(Kat).. she was the most cheerful person I met on there. We talked a lot every day.. At around 1 December my then best friend left me... Which made me sad and you know...And Kat was there for me... Supported me. Even insisted to call. We did once. at around late December she said her dad beats her. He gets drunk and angry and... She told me I am the only one that she talked with it.. I was few days later declared to be her bestie. At around middle January she said all that all her positivity was an act and she wanted to khs. The rest of it and February went on her being inactive for a week or so and the coming back for couple of messages and me wondering if she is alive. But after she told me she had a thoughts about maybe being a guy, I asked two of my trans friends to speak with her. She went completely silent in March. I didn't know if I failed as bestie or.. on April around she told me she found a bf(which I was happy about that, because she was looking for someone) and that she was happy now.. I thought I wasn't enough to help her.. but was glad he did.. we talked maybe 3 more times and she went all silent again. But I knew she was happy so it made me happy. She was busy with her new bf and school and I guess didn't have time to speak with me. Wished me happy birthday on May and we talked little bit like the good old times.. and maybe came back 2 more times to say hey. And before couple of days someone named "Kevin" claimed that he owns the discord account and doesn't know me.. and today I got BLOCKED on discord and intsta without any explanation!!! Idk where I failed as a bestie. We talked about so much things openly. She declared me her bestie. I shared my trauma with her. My problems and she did the same.. only to decide to BLOCK ME OUT OF NOEHERE. I WAS THERE WHEN YOU NEEDED ME BUT WHERE ARE YOU NOW!!!

So at the end of all this maybe I will be the one to kms

Hello @DepressedPotato

Welcome and thank you for sharing this with us. I can imagine how hurtful this is for you that the contact seems to have been cut now. it sounds like you built such a strong relationship, and when that suddenly goes, it can be really hard to adjust. How has all of this made you feel? I know you've spoken about taking your own life, and I'm wondering, what feelings this has brought up for you. Part of me is thinking that they might have been hacked, or at this point, maybe they have started to identify as a guy and has cut ties to start a new life as Kevin.

I just want to check, are you safe at the moment? I know it might not seem like it now, but this dark cloud may pass, and it's okay to share with us if you have made a plan to take your life as we can help you to stay safe. Just incase you need it, here is some safety information if you are in crisis: 

  • UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)
  • USA - NSPL: 1-800-273-8255
  • A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org
  • An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful. 
  • If you’re in the UK, you can text SHOUT to 85258 when you are struggling, and a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great if you find talking on the phone challenging, and it’s completely free 24/7

 

Take care and speak soon. 

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1 hour ago, Monsoon said:Part of me is thinking that they might have been hacked, or at this point, maybe they have started to identify as a guy and has cut ties to start a new life as Kevin.

 

I don't think so. Because she blocked me on the app, discord and insta at the same time. And when she came back she told me "I decided to stay as a girl, cause it's easier and I have been born that way" or something along the lines. Also we have some mutual friends that she didn't block.. I asked for their help to ask her why she do that.. no response yet.

1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

 

 

it's okay to share with us if you have made a plan to take your life as we can help you to stay safe. 

Well I am thinking about few things. I have knifes, I can jump out of my apartment or take pills. I am pretty sure there is a rope around here somewhere, too

And I am not from UK or USA

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Hey,

I just want to let you know I've messaged you privately about this. Take care and speak soon.

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