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My problematic father


Dywwik
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Last fall, I heard a passing conversation between my father and my cousin. She was learning how to change her brakes on her car and my dad was teaching her. Anyways, I heard my dad tell my cousin how fulfilled she'd be when she would have a baby. How having a child is the best thing in the world, how she basically needs a child to ever feel any happiness in her life, etc. 
I know my cousin is unfertile. She medically can't have a baby because her uterus isn't well. She also never wanted a baby. If she does have a child one day, she'd most likely foster one when she'll 50. I'm quoting her.  I talked with her about that conversation because I thought it was strange and I knew a bit more than my father did. Trying to offer her a bit of moral support. 

skip to last week, where I unintentionally asked her if her own father made any of those comments to her and she said no. 

skip to yesterday, where  I was talking about my parents being okay with me being gay, but also somewhat conservatives and my spiritual guide didn't understand how that was possible, and I told him this "story". He was shocked.  I know that the next time I'll speak with my spiritual guide, we will talk about the strangeness of my parents. 

WWYD?  (this is a rhetorical question, but feel free to comment)

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5 hours ago, Dywwik said:

Last fall, I heard a passing conversation between my father and my cousin. She was learning how to change her brakes on her car and my dad was teaching her. Anyways, I heard my dad tell my cousin how fulfilled she'd be when she would have a baby. How having a child is the best thing in the world, how she basically needs a child to ever feel any happiness in her life, etc. 
I know my cousin is unfertile. She medically can't have a baby because her uterus isn't well. She also never wanted a baby. If she does have a child one day, she'd most likely foster one when she'll 50. I'm quoting her.  I talked with her about that conversation because I thought it was strange and I knew a bit more than my father did. Trying to offer her a bit of moral support. 

skip to last week, where I unintentionally asked her if her own father made any of those comments to her and she said no. 

skip to yesterday, where  I was talking about my parents being okay with me being gay, but also somewhat conservatives and my spiritual guide didn't understand how that was possible, and I told him this "story". He was shocked.  I know that the next time I'll speak with my spiritual guide, we will talk about the strangeness of my parents. 

WWYD?  (this is a rhetorical question, but feel free to comment)

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing this. From what you've said, it sounds like your dad was coming from a good place in sharing his own experiences, however, it sounds like he may not have thought about her situation, or maybe even forgot; what do you think?

Also, it's lovely to hear that your parents are okay with you being gay despite them being somewhat conservative. What is that like for you? Also, how are things going with the spiritual guide?

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1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing this. From what you've said, it sounds like your dad was coming from a good place in sharing his own experiences, however, it sounds like he may not have thought about her situation, or maybe even forgot; what do you think?

Also, it's lovely to hear that your parents are okay with you being gay despite them being somewhat conservative. What is that like for you? Also, how are things going with the spiritual guide?

I know my father, it's coming from a good place, but everyone is ready to say that's it's not up to him to have that discussion with my cousin. If anything, it's up to her mother, and I think saying "HAVE KIDS!" is not the proper way to go at it. A real conversation like hearing out the person is better. I'm also surprised I never had that conversation with my father. I sincerely know he just is oblivious to my cousin's situation. He barely knows what going on with me, and I like with him. 

I say that I have the typical 1950s couple, the emotionless father that keeps his distance with the children because it's the mother's job to take of the children. Whilst he works constantly. Most of my childhood, my forget worked 6 days a week, from 8h-20h. My mom could have told me he's just a random man that lives with us, and I would believe her. 

My mother is trying her best to understand the LGBT issues. I try to explain to her as best I can.  She doesn't understand how parents just abandon their children because they are lgbt. I have a few friends in that situation and she just doesn't get it, which I find cool I guess. :P 

My spiritual guide helped me do stuff. I think he told my Bishop that I'm looking at other churches, because my Bishop, litterally a few weeks ago told me," you know that you'll always be welcome in my church, in my diocese." Which is a odd comment. I'm just hoping the bishop isn't behind my spiritual guide and will convince me that I must stay in my current church. I trust my spiritual guide to stay professional. What is fun about our sceances is that there is no agenda behind, and I hope none will appear. 

 

 

 

 

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