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Hello! I am very confused about my sexuality. To get to the point I have liked females and males before. I have kissed only females in a romantic way and whatnot. It never felt wrong to me until I told someone about it. I am a Christian and in the church, it's frowned upon to like the same gender but I still know so many accepting people so it's the few that you might have the misfortune that will make you feel bad about yourself.  My mom is a pastor. So it's always been an extremely scary thought to have that I might be Bisexual. When I told her I first kissed a girl I felt this plunder of guilt and I wasn't sure if it was because I felt bad that I liked it or that I should not have done it. From a young age, I always seemed to lean towards females. In second grade me and this girl would go to the bathrooms and make out every day for 6 months. She however got held back and it ended by summer. I found myself in situations like that as I continued to grow up and then those situations just completely stopped happening by 5th grade.  I have had small crushes on females and males. I could date both genders. I feel like love has a way to work through anything so I never wanted to put a title on myself about my sexuality because as you grow up it could change so I never wanted to define it and make it official I suppose in a way. When I think of marrying a female I feel like it could be a possibility but when I think of males I know for sure that it could happen it's not just a possibility. What should I do? Is this normal?

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing this with us :)

I completely get why it's an extremely scary thought with your mom being a pastor, and this is a completely normal feeling to have in this situation. How are you feeling about everything? I'm wondering, when you told your mom about kissing a girl, how did she react? 

Also, your feelings are completely normal; there is nothing wrong with you, and I think the reason you are feeling guilt might be because other people have negative views about your sexuality; as you said, you didn't think it was wrong until you told someone about it; what do you think?

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When I told her the first thing she asked was did you like it? I remember being scared and saying no. In the past, she had said that she would never accept us but she would still love us if we were to ever be a part of the LGBTQ community. I never disliked it, to me it did not feel wrong. I greatly appreciate your feedback! The most important thing to me is family and my faith so I do think it heavily impacts me and how I feel about something. I am just scared to lose everything i have known. My parents have given me the world and they only ask very few things from me. 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

That's interesting that she said she would never accept you if you were to be a part of the LGBTQ community, but that she would still love you. What do you think that would mean for your life if you came out to her? Also, I'm wondering, what do you think you could lose and what could you gain by coming out? 

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