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Is he a bad friend?


willow-in-purple    

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I have this friend (let’s call him E). E and I have been friends since August. He’s helped me through a lot of stuff and persisted to help me for a very long time. For that I am really grateful. For example, he sat next to me in the counselor’s office, helped when I was stressed, etc. However, recently he started teasing me. I’m aware that teasing is normal, so at first I just ignored it. Now whenever I see him, he constantly teases me. It is the only thing he does. The main thing he teases me for is by calling me h**rny. This happens constantly and it is the only thing he talks about. (He legitimately believes that I have a high s** drive, so now he won’t SHUT UP about it.) E says the only way he would stop is if I show him my search history. My search history is innocent but it has a few strange things, nothing inappropriate. I would rather not show him because it is MY history, MY business. He assumes there is p*** in there because I don’t want to show him. He also thinks that I’m embarrassed of my (allegedly) extreme s** drive and keeps pestering me about it. I told him to stop pestering me multiple times but he just won’t listen. All he wants to do is see my history. Wdid?

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I haven’t had that kind of experience, probably because I am twelve. But if I were in that situation, I would clear my search history and get him the f**k out of my life. 

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22 hours ago, willow-in-purple said:

I have this friend (let’s call him E). E and I have been friends since August. He’s helped me through a lot of stuff and persisted to help me for a very long time. For that I am really grateful. For example, he sat next to me in the counselor’s office, helped when I was stressed, etc. However, recently he started teasing me. I’m aware that teasing is normal, so at first I just ignored it. Now whenever I see him, he constantly teases me. It is the only thing he does. The main thing he teases me for is by calling me h**rny. This happens constantly and it is the only thing he talks about. (He legitimately believes that I have a high s** drive, so now he won’t SHUT UP about it.) E says the only way he would stop is if I show him my search history. My search history is innocent but it has a few strange things, nothing inappropriate. I would rather not show him because it is MY history, MY business. He assumes there is p*** in there because I don’t want to show him. He also thinks that I’m embarrassed of my (allegedly) extreme s** drive and keeps pestering me about it. I told him to stop pestering me multiple times but he just won’t listen. All he wants to do is see my history. Wdid?

Hey there,

This sounds like it's really bothering you, and it's normal to question this behaviour. Regardless of teasing, if something is making you feel uncomfortable, then it's important to communicate that and have your boundary respected. I can see that you've told him to stop, but I'm wondering, have you told him how it makes you feel? Also, out of curiosity, how does this make you feel? 

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you need to directly tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and that you need him to stop. if he doesn't respect that, in the words of my chemistry teacher "drop him like a potato." it doesn't matter that he's been there for you in the past. if he doesn't have respect for you now, then there's no reason why you need to put up with that. 

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On 4/13/2022 at 4:10 PM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

This sounds like it's really bothering you, and it's normal to question this behaviour. Regardless of teasing, if something is making you feel uncomfortable, then it's important to communicate that and have your boundary respected. I can see that you've told him to stop, but I'm wondering, have you told him how it makes you feel? Also, out of curiosity, how does this make you feel? 

Sorry for the late response. It doesn’t offend me, but it honestly extremely annoys me. I told him but he wouldn’t stop.

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5 hours ago, willow-in-purple said:

Sorry for the late response. It doesn’t offend me, but it honestly extremely annoys me. I told him but he wouldn’t stop.

Hey there,

That's a shame that he won't stop even though you've told him. I'm wondering, do you think something is going on for him? Why might he be acting like that?

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On 4/16/2022 at 4:43 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

That's a shame that he won't stop even though you've told him. I'm wondering, do you think something is going on for him? Why might he be acting like that?

He is a bit nosy and pokes into others business…

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23 hours ago, willow-in-purple said:

He is a bit nosy and pokes into others business…

Ah, okay. I think I'm looking at his behaviour from an outsider's point of view and wondering if something is going on. It sounds like his behaviour is quite hurtful at the moment, and usually, when someone is behaving like this, it can be a clue that they are going through something bad. What do you think? 

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