VIVIEN_ Posted April 9 Share Posted April 9 Tomorrow is church and my mom and dad are forcing me to go. I told them I wanted to take a break from that but they won't listen. Church makes me very uncomfortable and self conscious and I have had bad experiences in it. If I say no they'll take my phone away for a long time. What should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Monsoon Posted April 10 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 10 20 hours ago, Vivien_ said: Tomorrow is church and my mom and dad are forcing me to go. I told them I wanted to take a break from that but they won't listen. Church makes me very uncomfortable and self conscious and I have had bad experiences in it. If I say no they'll take my phone away for a long time. What should I do? Hey there, If you don't go, can you cope without your phone for a long time when they take it away? It's a shame they don't listen to you, but hopefully that changes with time, and I guess that at this point, we will just have to work with how your situation is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIVIEN_ Posted April 10 Author Share Posted April 10 I can. But I have to go today, I don't really have a choice right now. I just hope I don't have to go next Sunday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Monsoon Posted April 11 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 11 Hey there, How was it? Even if they do insist that you go, are you going to give it a miss? I guess the only sticking point is your phone which you've said you can go without. I just wonder if they might take other things away if they see you being fine without your phone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIVIEN_ Posted April 11 Author Share Posted April 11 It was alright but there was too many people and I got very uncomfortable. They might take my computer and writing tablet away. I can go without those too. I just hate being punished for saying no to something that makes me uncomfortable. My sister told me I could make friends but I can't socialize without feeling uncomfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Monsoon Posted April 12 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 12 Hey there, Do you think it would be better at church if you made friends? Also, can you tell me more about how it feels when you socialise? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIVIEN_ Posted April 12 Author Share Posted April 12 Yeah, I would be less uncomfortable. I feel very self conscious and I have a lot of anxiety. When I'm forced to socialize I have a mini panic attack. I've had a bad experience making friends at a different church, so I don't know if I can make friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Monsoon Posted April 13 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 13 17 hours ago, Vivien_ said: Yeah, I would be less uncomfortable. I feel very self conscious and I have a lot of anxiety. When I'm forced to socialize I have a mini panic attack. I've had a bad experience making friends at a different church, so I don't know if I can make friends. Hey there, Can you tell me what happened with making friends at a different church? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIVIEN_ Posted April 14 Author Share Posted April 14 They turned out fake and stopped talking to me. We were in the same Sunday school so I had to see them every Sunday. The same thing happened to my sisters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Monsoon Posted April 15 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 15 10 hours ago, Vivien_ said: They turned out fake and stopped talking to me. We were in the same Sunday school so I had to see them every Sunday. The same thing happened to my sisters. Hey, Ah, that sucks and must have been quite hurtful for you. I noticed that you said you had a bad experience making friends at that church and now you don't know if you can make friends. Can you tell me more about why you don't know if you can? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIVIEN_ Posted April 15 Author Share Posted April 15 I have social anxiety and its really hard for me to talk to people. My hearing and speaking usually stop working properly, because of my anxiety. And I'm scared they'll hate me and stop talking to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Monsoon Posted April 15 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 15 2 hours ago, Vivien_ said: I have social anxiety and its really hard for me to talk to people. My hearing and speaking usually stop working properly, because of my anxiety. And I'm scared they'll hate me and stop talking to me. Hey, That sounds really tough. How do you find it having the social anxiety? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIVIEN_ Posted April 15 Author Share Posted April 15 It's hard for me to talk to people and I usually avoid public places. Whenever I'm forced to socialize I panic a little. People just make me uncomfortable, but I do want friends. So it's a bit annoying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Monsoon Posted April 16 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 16 14 hours ago, Vivien_ said: It's hard for me to talk to people and I usually avoid public places. Whenever I'm forced to socialize I panic a little. People just make me uncomfortable, but I do want friends. So it's a bit annoying. Hey, Yeah, I completely get why that's annoying. I'm wondering, what do you think has helped you to socialise and build connections with people in the past? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIVIEN_ Posted April 16 Author Share Posted April 16 Well, I've never really socialized when I was younger. When I did make friends they were the ones who talked to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Monsoon Posted April 17 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 17 13 hours ago, Vivien_ said: Well, I've never really socialized when I was younger. When I did make friends they were the ones who talked to me. Hey, It would be helpful to explore that more, because making friends is a two way thing. What do you think helped you to become friendly with those people in the past? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIVIEN_ Posted April 17 Author Share Posted April 17 Time, it took awhile for me to get used to them. Then it would be easy to talk to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Monsoon Posted April 18 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 18 23 hours ago, Vivien_ said: Time, it took awhile for me to get used to them. Then it would be easy to talk to them. Hey there, That sounds like a good tip to make more friends in the future then, just giving it time. I'm wondering, who is the person you're closest to at the moment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIVIEN_ Posted April 18 Author Share Posted April 18 I don't have any friends right now and I'm not very close to my family, so no one really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Monsoon Posted April 19 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 19 Hey there, That's okay. You have the community here and we are here for you :) So, we've spoken about how you have social anxiety and that you usually avoid public places, but still want friends. I'm wondering, could it be helpful to try out some strategies to calm down when you're feeling anxious? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIVIEN_ Posted April 19 Author Share Posted April 19 Maybe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Monsoon Posted April 19 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 19 1 hour ago, Vivien_ said: Maybe If I suggest a few strategies, would you like to try them and see how they go? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIVIEN_ Posted April 19 Author Share Posted April 19 Sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Monsoon Posted April 21 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 21 On 4/19/2022 at 7:39 PM, Vivien_ said: Sure. Hey there, Would you like to have a read of these support guides and maybe pick out a few things that you want to try? https://www.ditchthelabel.org/7-tips-for-overcoming-social-anxiety/ https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-to-look-after-mental-health/ https://www.ditchthelabel.org/101-ultimate-ways-chill-reduce-stress/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VIVIEN_ Posted April 21 Author Share Posted April 21 Thank you so much! This really help and I'm going to try some of theses today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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