I don’t deserve my boyfriend should I break up with him so I don’t hurt him worse later?

[Allv]

The title basically says it all but my boyfriend is the sweetest most gentle and kind human I’ve ever met, I made a mistake as one of my friends likes one of his and I mentioned to her that he wasn’t interested and suggested a reason why which was one my bf told me in confidence. As soon as I said it I felt horrible ( this comment was not terribly rude just stated she wasn’t his type). He texted me later after I told him that I had let my friend know and said he has trouble trusting me. I don’t blame him we talked it out and I flat out asked if he was gonna break up with me and he said no and that he forgave me but I feel horrible. I already don’t deserve him and now after this I know I’ve hurt him. I feel like I should break up with him now so I can’t hurt him worse, he deserves a good person and I’m not one.

this might sound stupid but what should I do? 

I also have diagnosed anxiety depression and ptsd, I just don’t think I’m worth the work at this point, I love him but I feel guilty about taking his love as I don’t deserve it 

[Daisie]

Hey @Allv Noticed you are new to the Community to wanted to send you a warm welcome!

Sometimes it can be beneficial talking through what’s going on for you with someone, so I will tag our trained mentors in so you know who they are and so they can reach out to you with some support and advice @Monsoon & @Blondie

[Monsoon]

4 hours ago, Allv said:

The title basically says it all but my boyfriend is the sweetest most gentle and kind human I’ve ever met, I made a mistake as one of my friends likes one of his and I mentioned to her that he wasn’t interested and suggested a reason why which was one my bf told me in confidence. As soon as I said it I felt horrible ( this comment was not terribly rude just stated she wasn’t his type). He texted me later after I told him that I had let my friend know and said he has trouble trusting me. I don’t blame him we talked it out and I flat out asked if he was gonna break up with me and he said no and that he forgave me but I feel horrible. I already don’t deserve him and now after this I know I’ve hurt him. I feel like I should break up with him now so I can’t hurt him worse, he deserves a good person and I’m not one.

this might sound stupid but what should I do? 

I also have diagnosed anxiety depression and ptsd, I just don’t think I’m worth the work at this point, I love him but I feel guilty about taking his love as I don’t deserve it 

Hey there,

I'm wondering, could you take some time to have a think about this, maybe a day or two, and then see how you're feeling after? Also, is there anything you could do now that makes you feel happy and calm?