What Should I Do?

[firsttimereject1]

Soooo I was talking to this guy I work with for about a month. Before we actually started talking, we'd never actually said anything to each other. I actually ended matching with him on Tinder, oops. Anyways, we had really good conversation and I was really into how everything was going. He's a resident and I'm a nurse so our hours are both kind of all over the place - more so his then mine. Anyways, when we finally decided to get together, it was great. He went out of his way to make reservations and plan everything, and I couldn't believe how incredible everything ended up going. We hung out again the next day and it was probably the best weekend I'd had in a long time. I came to the realization I probably got along better than him then I did in my past relationship that went on 2 and a half years.

 

Anyway, the next weeks happened and everything was going great. I should add we're both in our mid-twenties and work in a hospital so appearance kind of matters..a lot. Anyways, I accidentally left a hickey. Accidentally. I'm sure you're probably wondering how that happens, but it did. After profusely apologizing, things seemed to be fine. However, it happened again. I didn't even realize it was. We had what you could call "a stern conversation" and again, I apologized profusely. I thought everything was fine after that. 

 

The next week we hung out and talked, but it felt like something was off. I had no idea what it was. I thought maybe I was just overthinking because I'm a girl and because I have a tendency to do that a lot. Anyways, Sunday night I finally couldn't take it anymore. After him telling me his feelings hadn't changed, he finally told me that he didn't see us as a couple because of the disagreement we had had over hickey number 2. Seriously?! Am I crazy for thinking that this is the only thing that could have led him to not seeing himself in a relationship with me? After everything had gone so well? I've never been friend zoned before. In fact, I'm usually the one rejecting so this hit me. Hard. I miss talking to him. Is that crazy? I've been upset and mopping all week. After confiding to many people, I spoke to my coworker (at another job so she doesn't know him) and asked her what she thought I should do.

 

She advised me to wait until this upcoming Monday and reach out to him. Start with "hi, how was your week?" and then wait from there. If he reciprocated, she said to say "I know I messed up, but I really miss talking to you and I was wondering if you'd be willing to start over?" This sounded like a good idea at the time, until I again, overthought it and talked to my mom. The last thing I was to do is come off as desperate and obsessive. If I say this to him, do you think that's what I'd be doing? HELP PLEASE!!! I miss talking to him. I know I need to move on, but what if there's a tiny chance this could resolve something?

 

Can anyone offer advice? Maybe a guy? How would you respond in this situation? Thanks in advance :(

 

 

[Whisper]

I honestly don't know very much about dating but I think that if he was that upset over something like that he doesn't deserve you. If you still want advice after you hear that though I don't think you'd come across as desperate and obsessive.

[Monsoon]

On 3/31/2022 at 8:50 PM, firsttimereject1 said:

Soooo I was talking to this guy I work with for about a month. Before we actually started talking, we'd never actually said anything to each other. I actually ended matching with him on Tinder, oops. Anyways, we had really good conversation and I was really into how everything was going. He's a resident and I'm a nurse so our hours are both kind of all over the place - more so his then mine. Anyways, when we finally decided to get together, it was great. He went out of his way to make reservations and plan everything, and I couldn't believe how incredible everything ended up going. We hung out again the next day and it was probably the best weekend I'd had in a long time. I came to the realization I probably got along better than him then I did in my past relationship that went on 2 and a half years.

 

Anyway, the next weeks happened and everything was going great. I should add we're both in our mid-twenties and work in a hospital so appearance kind of matters..a lot. Anyways, I accidentally left a hickey. Accidentally. I'm sure you're probably wondering how that happens, but it did. After profusely apologizing, things seemed to be fine. However, it happened again. I didn't even realize it was. We had what you could call "a stern conversation" and again, I apologized profusely. I thought everything was fine after that. 

 

The next week we hung out and talked, but it felt like something was off. I had no idea what it was. I thought maybe I was just overthinking because I'm a girl and because I have a tendency to do that a lot. Anyways, Sunday night I finally couldn't take it anymore. After him telling me his feelings hadn't changed, he finally told me that he didn't see us as a couple because of the disagreement we had had over hickey number 2. Seriously?! Am I crazy for thinking that this is the only thing that could have led him to not seeing himself in a relationship with me? After everything had gone so well? I've never been friend zoned before. In fact, I'm usually the one rejecting so this hit me. Hard. I miss talking to him. Is that crazy? I've been upset and mopping all week. After confiding to many people, I spoke to my coworker (at another job so she doesn't know him) and asked her what she thought I should do.

 

She advised me to wait until this upcoming Monday and reach out to him. Start with "hi, how was your week?" and then wait from there. If he reciprocated, she said to say "I know I messed up, but I really miss talking to you and I was wondering if you'd be willing to start over?" This sounded like a good idea at the time, until I again, overthought it and talked to my mom. The last thing I was to do is come off as desperate and obsessive. If I say this to him, do you think that's what I'd be doing? HELP PLEASE!!! I miss talking to him. I know I need to move on, but what if there's a tiny chance this could resolve something?

 

Can anyone offer advice? Maybe a guy? How would you respond in this situation? Thanks in advance :(

 

 

Hey there,

How are you felling now? I just thought I'd ask because you posted this a good few days ago, and I was wondering if you'd had any more thoughts.

I'm curious to know, what's your gut feeling about this situation? Do you think it can be salvaged, or is it done?