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When will I stop questioning my sexuality?


RedRobin    

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My entire life I've been attracted to guys (I'm a girl btw) until about two weeks ago when I pictured myself in a relationship with a girl and in a relationship with a guy, and they both gave me butterflies. Since then, I had thought more about and done some research, and I was about 75% sure I was bi. But there was always this little voice in the back of my mind telling me that I wasn't really bi and that I just wanted to say that I was bi for attention. I thought back and realized there had been probably 100+ times that I had thought romantic feelings about girls, but just pushed them down and ignored them. Soon after, I was at a track meet, and I got butterflies when I looked at this girl who went to my school and was sitting on the field below and I was in the bleachers. I had always thought she was beautiful, and now I think I may have a crush on her. I'm sure I'm bi now, but that voice is still there telling me that I'm wrong. Will there ever be a point where I am just secure in the fact that I'm bi?

 

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2 hours ago, StupidGenius said:

My entire life I've been attracted to guys (I'm a girl btw) until about two weeks ago when I pictured myself in a relationship with a girl and in a relationship with a guy, and they both gave me butterflies. Since then, I had thought more about and done some research, and I was about 75% sure I was bi. But there was always this little voice in the back of my mind telling me that I wasn't really bi and that I just wanted to say that I was bi for attention. I thought back and realized there had been probably 100+ times that I had thought romantic feelings about girls, but just pushed them down and ignored them. Soon after, I was at a track meet, and I got butterflies when I looked at this girl who went to my school and was sitting on the field below and I was in the bleachers. I had always thought she was beautiful, and now I think I may have a crush on her. I'm sure I'm bi now, but that voice is still there telling me that I'm wrong. Will there ever be a point where I am just secure in the fact that I'm bi?

Hey there,

Yeah, this experience of doubting your sexuality is totally normal, and I think many people can doubt themselves because by admitting their sexuality in their mind, it can be quite scary and the prospect of coming out can put people off, do you know what I mean? 

Also, it won't always be like this, but it will take time to be secure with it, and I guess that security comes from experience and exploration. What do you think? 

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14 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, this experience of doubting your sexuality is totally normal, and I think many people can doubt themselves because by admitting their sexuality in their mind, it can be quite scary and the prospect of coming out can put people off, do you know what I mean? 

Also, it won't always be like this, but it will take time to be secure with it, and I guess that security comes from experience and exploration. What do you think? 

You’re right. I’m sure time and patience is probably the solution here, but me finding out that I’m bi kind of flipped my world upside down. I had never questioned that I could be anything but straight (even though I definitely wasn’t). It just caught me off guard. I just am a little scared now because I know I’ll have to come out eventually, and I don’t want anyone to look at me differently. I know I can’t tell my parents because my dad is a homophobic Christian. My mom would be fine with it, but she can’t keep a secret and my dad would know in about 0.3 seconds. I think with my parents, I won’t tell them unless they ask. But my friends are another story. I love them all to death, but I know the jokes about me being bi would never end. The jokes would have no ill intent, but honestly, I just really need these friends to be my rock while I’m trying to figure this stuff out. They would see it all as a joke, but honestly I need their advice on how to handle some of this. Is there a way for me to come out to them, but get them to take me seriously and understand that I really need their help, not their laughter at the situation?

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Hey there,

I completely get how concerning it can be to come out; there is a lot at stake, and having come out myself, I can definitely see your point of view. However, I think that coming out is really positive in so many ways; it can really help you to see where those strong and meaningful connections are in your life, and it can also show you who doesn't deserve to be in your world. It's a chance to set new boundaries in your relationships, such as letting people know that those jokes aren't welcome. What do you think? With coming out to your dad, how do you think he will react? Remember, for people who show homophobic views, they are often towards people they don't know, but when it's someone close to them, this can be an absolute game-changer and completely open up their mind. 

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3 hours ago, mironmil said:

Thanks for this interesting information!

No worries. Would you like more support, or are you good for now? 

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