Emberfrost12 Posted March 23, 2022 Share Posted March 23, 2022 So, I’ve been trying to present as masculine, but I’m still getting clocked as female. Part of the issue is probably that I wear bracelets, which isn’t exactly a ‘masculine thing’. Another part is that I don’t fall into the stereotypes for genderqueer people. I have no pride pins on my backpack or on a lanyard, my hair isn’t died, and I rarely dress in ‘loud’ colors. The last issue is that for six months of trying to do a good job binding, I don’t have much to show. Or not show. Advice, anyone? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elliot And Ellie Posted March 23, 2022 Share Posted March 23, 2022 same dude but i don;t have a binder and i have the same issues but i try to d MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 23, 2022 Share Posted March 23, 2022 3 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: So, I’ve been trying to present as masculine, but I’m still getting clocked as female. Part of the issue is probably that I wear bracelets, which isn’t exactly a ‘masculine thing’. Another part is that I don’t fall into the stereotypes for genderqueer people. I have no pride pins on my backpack or on a lanyard, my hair isn’t died, and I rarely dress in ‘loud’ colors. The last issue is that for six months of trying to do a good job binding, I don’t have much to show. Or not show. Advice, anyone? Hey there, I'm wondering, how does it feel when you're clocked? Is it a problem for you? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 23, 2022 Author Share Posted March 23, 2022 5 hours ago, Monsoon said: Hey there, I'm wondering, how does it feel when you're clocked? Is it a problem for you? I guess it makes me feel like I'm being pushed into a box I'm not comfortable with. It's definitely a problem for me, because when people act like I'm not who I think I am, it makes me doubt myself and makes me a lot less confident. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 24, 2022 Share Posted March 24, 2022 Hey there, Yeah, I can totally see why it would make you doubt yourself, and I imagine it’s a trigger for potential feelings of discomfort towards your sexuality. What do you think could change slightly in order to reduce the chances of being clocked? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 26, 2022 Author Share Posted March 26, 2022 I’m not sure…if I could convince my dad to get me a binder, that could help. I’m also going to ask people that if they are using static pronouns for me that they should be he/they. I don’t know know what else though. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 8 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: I’m not sure…if I could convince my dad to get me a binder, that could help. I’m also going to ask people that if they are using static pronouns for me that they should be he/they. I don’t know know what else though. Hey there, I think they are really good steps. What do you think your dad will say about the binder? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 27, 2022 Author Share Posted March 27, 2022 16 hours ago, Monsoon said: Hey there, I think they are really good steps. What do you think your dad will say about the binder? My dad is generally pretty chill with things, so it seems like a good chance that he’ll look into it, and it seems like a better chance than asking my mom, because as much as she says that she respects my gender identity, she says things like ‘I know you don’t like dresses, but wear one this once?’ and she doesn’t want me to come out to my relatives. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 27, 2022 Share Posted March 27, 2022 5 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: My dad is generally pretty chill with things, so it seems like a good chance that he’ll look into it, and it seems like a better chance than asking my mom, because as much as she says that she respects my gender identity, she says things like ‘I know you don’t like dresses, but wear one this once?’ and she doesn’t want me to come out to my relatives. Hey there, Yeah, it sounds like a good idea to ask your dad then; do you think you'll do it? Also, it's interesting that she doesn't want you to come out to your relatives. Why do you think that is? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 28, 2022 Author Share Posted March 28, 2022 18 hours ago, Monsoon said: Hey there, Yeah, it sounds like a good idea to ask your dad then; do you think you'll do it? Also, it's interesting that she doesn't want you to come out to your relatives. Why do you think that is? I have no idea why. My grandma seems to have a ‘if thats the way the world works now, fine’ mindset, and everything my relatives (on that side) say seems positive enough MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 3 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: I have no idea why. My grandma seems to have a ‘if thats the way the world works now, fine’ mindset, and everything my relatives (on that side) say seems positive enough Hey, I'm wondering then, has your mum said that she doesn't want you to come out to the rest of the family? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 28, 2022 Author Share Posted March 28, 2022 26 minutes ago, Monsoon said: Hey, I'm wondering then, has your mum said that she doesn't want you to come out to the rest of the family? It’s been…heavily implied MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 19 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: It’s been…heavily implied Hey, Can you tell me more about what she has done to imply it? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 29, 2022 Author Share Posted March 29, 2022 29 minutes ago, Monsoon said: Hey, Can you tell me more about what she has done to imply it? There’s been a bit of ‘I don’t want to uproot the family. You know how your cousin changed her name. It might be too much for your grandma’ Coming out to only one of them won’t work because they are SO FREAKING GOSSIPY that within less than a week, they’d ALL KNOW. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 19 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: There’s been a bit of ‘I don’t want to uproot the family. You know how your cousin changed her name. It might be too much for your grandma’ Coming out to only one of them won’t work because they are SO FREAKING GOSSIPY that within less than a week, they’d ALL KNOW. Hey there, Ah, okay, I see what you mean. I'm wondering, do you think it will uproot the family? If so, how? Also, what does she mean about how it might be too much for your grandma? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 30, 2022 Author Share Posted March 30, 2022 3 hours ago, Monsoon said: Hey there, Ah, okay, I see what you mean. I'm wondering, do you think it will uproot the family? If so, how? Also, what does she mean about how it might be too much for your grandma? I honestly think no one will care too much, and maybe she thinks that my grandma doesn’t believe in queer people? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 6 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: I honestly think no one will care too much, and maybe she thinks that my grandma doesn’t believe in queer people? Hey there, That's a really good way of looking at it. It sounds like your mom might just be trying to protect you, but not realising the impact of what she is saying can have. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 30, 2022 Author Share Posted March 30, 2022 2 hours ago, Monsoon said: Hey there, That's a really good way of looking at it. It sounds like your mom might just be trying to protect you, but not realising the impact of what she is saying can have. What do you think? Yeah, that sounds about right MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 31, 2022 Share Posted March 31, 2022 17 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: Yeah, that sounds about right Hey. What do you think your next step might be then? How are you feeling? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 31, 2022 Author Share Posted March 31, 2022 1 minute ago, Monsoon said: Hey. What do you think your next step might be then? How are you feeling? Im going to directly ask her why she doesnt want me out to my relatives MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted April 1, 2022 Share Posted April 1, 2022 17 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: Im going to directly ask her why she doesnt want me out to my relatives Hey there, When are you planning to do that? If you like, you can talk to us about how that goes; no pressure! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted April 1, 2022 Author Share Posted April 1, 2022 3 hours ago, Monsoon said: Hey there, When are you planning to do that? If you like, you can talk to us about how that goes; no pressure! When i find an opening in conversation with her, I’ll ask MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted April 1, 2022 Share Posted April 1, 2022 5 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: When i find an opening in conversation with her, I’ll ask Hey, Sounds like a plan. I hope it goes how you'd like it to. How are you doing today? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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