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Can coming out be harmful rather than rewarding?


Anonymous6112006
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I'm a bisexual person who lives in India. Currently, my country's policies do not support marriage between LGBTQA community. I feel like the only way to experience a full life is to emigrate to a country without rampant homophobia. Is it okay to leave my country, just for owning my sexuality?

Although my parents are not total homophobics, they still give the vibe that it's not something they approve of.ย  I wish so much that I could come out to them, but I feel like my security and future would be at stake. I know that they'll eventually accept my identity, but the process might be quite painful.ย  Does anyone have any advice/thoughts about my situation? Please tell!๐Ÿ™‚

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

Welcome to our community. I think it's more than okay to leave your country so that you're able to be yourself and live authentically; plenty of people do that, and for a lot of individuals, it can be dangerous to live openly in their environment, so moving away is essential. What do you think?ย 

Also, when you say you feel like your security and future would be at stake by coming out, can you tell me more about that?

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Hi, thanks for replying. I think that you're right. It might be for the best to study/work and live abroad to live the fullest.

My school is a place where homophobia is very prominent. Being LGBTQA is seen as a disgusting and shameful thing to be. I've never heard of a kid coming out in my school, because of the homophobic jokes and comments. Accepting difference and uniqueness is just not what everyone does. So you can see, it's not the safest place to come out.

LGBTQ people are marginalized in practically every place in the country. The social stigma surrounding it is enormous. These people can't get jobs in many places (even medicine!) because of who they are.ย  Nobody has ever heard of a gay marriage here, as it us seen as 'unnatural', quoting the law in effect.ย 

Edited by Anonymous6112006
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On 3/21/2022 at 4:57 PM, Anonymous6112006 said:

Hi, thanks for replying. I think that you're right. It might be for the best to study/work and live abroad to live the fullest.

My school is a place where homophobia is very prominent. Being LGBTQA is seen as a disgusting and shameful thing to be. I've never heard of a kid coming out in my school, because of the homophobic jokes and comments. Accepting difference and uniqueness is just not what everyone does. So you can see, it's not the safest place to come out.

LGBTQ people are marginalized in practically every place in the country. The social stigma surrounding it is enormous. These people can't get jobs in many places (even medicine!) because of who they are.ย  Nobody has ever heard of a gay marriage here, as it us seen as 'unnatural', quoting the law in effect.ย 

Hey there,

Yeah, your environment does sound like a tricky place for LGBTQ+ people. Can I ask, are you aware of any LGBTQ+ individuals where you live? I must say though, I'm glad you know your parents will accept you eventually, and keeping that in mind, even if you did come out to people in your town/city, would it be safe for you to carry on living there?ย 

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No, I don't know anyone else who might be LGBTQ. That's one of the reasons I joined this site :)

I suppose I could live here if I don't tell like, everyone everyone about my identity. However,ย  dating between a heterosexual couple is kind of frowned upon here, let alone between a homosexual one. People are THAT backward here๐Ÿ˜ฌ

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Hey there,

Yeah, it definitely sounds like your environment is very reserved and conservative. I'm wondering though, if you did come out, is there a chance that it might not be as bad as you think it is? I'm aware that being LGBTQ+ is legal in India, but I completely understand that those negative social perceptions can stick around. Speak soon.

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It might not be the worst thing , but is it really worth it? I mean, I have got a pretty good thing going with my friends and family, so is it just okay to turn it all upside down? I know, my situation is certainly easier than many people in the world. But don't you think it would be better to wait for the time when I am more grown up and independent?

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23 hours ago, Anonymous6112006 said:

It might not be the worst thing , but is it really worth it? I mean, I have got a pretty good thing going with my friends and family, so is it just okay to turn it all upside down? I know, my situation is certainly easier than many people in the world. But don't you think it would be better to wait for the time when I am more grown up and independent?

Hey there,

I think it depends on your situation entirely and what kind of life you want to lead; do you want to live where you can be free and true to who you are?ย 

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11 hours ago, Anonymous6112006 said:

Yes, of course. But I'm waiting for a more 'right' time.

Hey there,

Yeah, I get that. There can definitely be that feeling of turning things upside down when you come out, but living your life authentically and being out and proud is so rewarding, so although it can be tough at first, it does pay off. What do you think?ย 

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7 hours ago, Anonymous6112006 said:

I don't know. I suppose I'm clinging on to excuses because it's just so weird talking about it. I don't think I've got myself properly figured out at this moment. That's why I want to wait, be absolutely sure of what I am, and then tell them straight up.

Hey there,

Yeah, that's a really good idea about being absolutely sure and then telling them straight up :)ย 

Would you like anymore support for now, or are you good?ย 

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