In desperate need of advice, facing continuous harassment

[Anon35]

Hello,

Sorry if this has been asked before but I've been looking for answers on how to help my friend deal with this as I'm not from her state, but things have gotten out of hand and I feel like there's nothing I can do for her. She faces CONSTANT sexual harassment at her highschool from random students in the hallways between classes, with random guys slapping her ass as she's on the way to her classes. The other students even have a gross codename for fridays called "slap ass fridays" where she constantly deals with people doing this. She doesn't get a view of who it is and its never in the view of the school cameras, and the school seems blissfully unaware. She's mostly shy and hardworking and tries to just focus in her classes and hang out with a couple friends at lunch, but in between classes on route to her next classes is when stuff like this happens. 

Is there a 3rd party she can report to about things like this? She feels like if she comes clean in school to teachers that other students will ostracize her. There are even rumors of her having nudes and her sending them to someone. Even though none of that is true, you know how high schools are. Rumors circulate and shit gets worse. 

I feel powerless to help her and the one time she reported an incident early on, she had to go to the dean twice, report the incident and the accused and in the end, the accused barely got a warning while she was traumatized by the whole ordeal. This is horrible and needs to stop but we dont know how to make it stop. Maybe the rumors will eventually fade away with time but the harassment from guys seems to keep going and she cant report each person when she doesn't even remember their names and cant even tell which guys touched her without her consent. 

Any advice you can share would be greatly appreciated. I'm at a loss on what to do for her and her family simply doesn't believe her about what she's saying so that isn't a viable option for her. I just want her to feel okay and be able to meet the high expectations her parents have for her, and its tough to do that when you face constant sexual harassment. This sorta thing rarely if ever happened at my school so I just dont know what to say 

[Daisie]

25 minutes ago, Anon35 said:

Hello,

Sorry if this has been asked before but I've been looking for answers on how to help my friend deal with this as I'm not from her state, but things have gotten out of hand and I feel like there's nothing I can do for her. She faces CONSTANT sexual harassment at her highschool from random students in the hallways between classes, with random guys slapping her ass as she's on the way to her classes. The other students even have a gross codename for fridays called "slap ass fridays" where she constantly deals with people doing this. She doesn't get a view of who it is and its never in the view of the school cameras, and the school seems blissfully unaware. She's mostly shy and hardworking and tries to just focus in her classes and hang out with a couple friends at lunch, but in between classes on route to her next classes is when stuff like this happens. 

Is there a 3rd party she can report to about things like this? She feels like if she comes clean in school to teachers that other students will ostracize her. There are even rumors of her having nudes and her sending them to someone. Even though none of that is true, you know how high schools are. Rumors circulate and shit gets worse. 

I feel powerless to help her and the one time she reported an incident early on, she had to go to the dean twice, report the incident and the accused and in the end, the accused barely got a warning while she was traumatized by the whole ordeal. This is horrible and needs to stop but we dont know how to make it stop. Maybe the rumors will eventually fade away with time but the harassment from guys seems to keep going and she cant report each person when she doesn't even remember their names and cant even tell which guys touched her without her consent. 

Any advice you can share would be greatly appreciated. I'm at a loss on what to do for her and her family simply doesn't believe her about what she's saying so that isn't a viable option for her. I just want her to feel okay and be able to meet the high expectations her parents have for her, and its tough to do that when you face constant sexual harassment. This sorta thing rarely if ever happened at my school so I just dont know what to say 

 

Hey @Anon35 Welcome to the community.

I have just read your post and I will tag one of our trained mentors in who may be able to offer some helpful advice for you and your friend.  @Monsoon & @Blondie

Someone will reply as soon as they are available. 
 

 

[Monsoon]

16 hours ago, Anon35 said:

Hello,

Sorry if this has been asked before but I've been looking for answers on how to help my friend deal with this as I'm not from her state, but things have gotten out of hand and I feel like there's nothing I can do for her. She faces CONSTANT sexual harassment at her highschool from random students in the hallways between classes, with random guys slapping her ass as she's on the way to her classes. The other students even have a gross codename for fridays called "slap ass fridays" where she constantly deals with people doing this. She doesn't get a view of who it is and its never in the view of the school cameras, and the school seems blissfully unaware. She's mostly shy and hardworking and tries to just focus in her classes and hang out with a couple friends at lunch, but in between classes on route to her next classes is when stuff like this happens. 

Is there a 3rd party she can report to about things like this? She feels like if she comes clean in school to teachers that other students will ostracize her. There are even rumors of her having nudes and her sending them to someone. Even though none of that is true, you know how high schools are. Rumors circulate and shit gets worse. 

I feel powerless to help her and the one time she reported an incident early on, she had to go to the dean twice, report the incident and the accused and in the end, the accused barely got a warning while she was traumatized by the whole ordeal. This is horrible and needs to stop but we dont know how to make it stop. Maybe the rumors will eventually fade away with time but the harassment from guys seems to keep going and she cant report each person when she doesn't even remember their names and cant even tell which guys touched her without her consent. 

Any advice you can share would be greatly appreciated. I'm at a loss on what to do for her and her family simply doesn't believe her about what she's saying so that isn't a viable option for her. I just want her to feel okay and be able to meet the high expectations her parents have for her, and its tough to do that when you face constant sexual harassment. This sorta thing rarely if ever happened at my school so I just dont know what to say 

Hello @Anon35

Thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like there is a real cultural issue at the school when it comes to sexual harassment and this needs to be dealt with by the school leaders. I'm wondering, do you think your friend would be willing to join here and speak with us directly so we can help work through this with her?