SO. MUCH. DRAMA.

[Sunnystorm]

               Two kids in my class of twelve are homophobic. I am definitely not straight, not exactly sure what yet, but still. A girl who is not one of my friends has somehow figured this out. My best friend has a crush on one of the homophobic guys (we'll call him L) and he has a crush on her (let us call her K). One of  my other friends has a crush on a guy who has a crush on K. It seems like EVERYONE has a crush on K. One guy has a crush on me which sucks because as mentioned earlier, I am not straight, also he is the only boy in my class who I wanted to be friends with and he had to go and have a crush on me. There are confessions, rejections, and it's even worse because it's Valentine's day. WWYD?

Edited February 15, 2022 by Sunnystorm

[Sunnystorm]

Also a girl in the grade above me sent me a heart with chocolates in it so...not sure what to think about that.

[Monsoon]

Hey there. Welcome to our community :)

You sound popular! How does it feel to know that people are attracted to you? What do you think about the girl in the above grade?

[Sunnystorm]

I don't know. I am sort of surprised and I don't really like it because I don't want to make them feel bad, but I also already have a crush on this girl in my music group. I don't really think I'm popular; I'm just in one of the upper grades in a school with less than 100 students so...

I like her, I mean, she's really quiet and kind of nervous and shy, but I don't think I like her like that.

[Monsoon]

7 hours ago, Sunnystorm said:

I don't know. I am sort of surprised and I don't really like it because I don't want to make them feel bad, but I also already have a crush on this girl in my music group. I don't really think I'm popular; I'm just in one of the upper grades in a school with less than 100 students so...

I like her, I mean, she's really quiet and kind of nervous and shy, but I don't think I like her like that.

Hey. That's okay that you don't like her like that. I'm wondering, how did you respond to getting the chocolates from the girl in the grade above? Have you spoken to her yet?

[Sunnystorm]

I was kind of surprised, but also grateful. Because chocolate, you know? And no, I have not spoken to her.

[Monsoon]

14 hours ago, Sunnystorm said:

I was kind of surprised, but also grateful. Because chocolate, you know? And no, I have not spoken to her.

Yeah, chocolate is great! Do you think you're going to speak with her or will you leave it? 

[Sunnystorm]

No, I'm going to leave it. She is really shy and I don't think she'd appreciate bringing the subject up again. The note with the chocolates was kind of like, "Hey, so here's this thing, leave it be, don't talk to me."

[Monsoon]

13 hours ago, Sunnystorm said:

No, I'm going to leave it. She is really shy and I don't think she'd appreciate bringing the subject up again. The note with the chocolates was kind of like, "Hey, so here's this thing, leave it be, don't talk to me."

Hey,

Ah, yeah, she made it pretty clear then!

How have you been recently by the way?

[Sunnystorm]

Mehhhhhhh. Physically I'm great, we got a bunch of snow here the other day (snow in northern California in February??? what world is this????) so that was cool, and overall the weather has been good. I'm doing good in school, so I'm not too worried about that, but my social life is like BLAAAAH. Everybody seems to have problems. One of my best friends (K) keeps crying on my shoulder because her parents won't let her date the guy who's about to ask her out, my other friend (S) has a crush on my other friend's brother and she told him, and my other friend's (E) grandpa is dying. I made the mistake of comforting K once and now she's relying on me for everything. It's exhausting, and I have my own problems to deal with. I'm finding myself neglecting my relationships with my other friends and I don't know how to fix it. Also my crush thinks I'm creepy, so that's fun.

Wow, okay, sorry for ranting at you. Oh well, that's what you're here for, right?

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Yeah, I’m here to listen, so feel free to rant away :)

It sounds like you’re supporting other people a lot, but that’s then having a negative impact on other areas. Can you tell me more about what you’re wanting to fix? How do you think you’ve been neglecting other relationships? 

[Sunnystorm]

Well, some of it is a little sensitive to talk about, but one of my friends just recently told me she's been cutting herself. She showed me the scabs. I don't know what to do. She told her guardians, and she's going to therapy, but I don't know how to support her. She said not to be bothered by it, but that's kind of hard to do when she's literally CUTTING herself. I just feel really bad because I don't know how I didn't see this. She's just seemed normal. And if she seemed normal, how many times has she needed support but I couldn't see it?

P.S. Sorry I haven't been on in almost a month. There's just been a lot going on. Thanks for talking with me.

Edited March 21, 2022 by Sunnystorm
typo

[Monsoon]

3 hours ago, Sunnystorm said:

Well, some of it is a little sensitive to talk about, but one of my friends just recently told me she's been cutting herself. She showed me the scabs. I don't know what to do. She told her guardians, and she's going to therapy, but I don't know how to support her. She said not to be bothered by it, but that's kind of hard to do when she's literally CUTTING herself. I just feel really bad because I don't know how I didn't see this. She's just seemed normal. And if she seemed normal, how many times has she needed support but I couldn't see it?

P.S. Sorry I haven't been on in almost a month. There's just been a lot going on. Thanks for talking with me.

Hey there,

I sounds like you're feeling guilty about your friend, and if you are, this is completely normal. I think it's important to remember that she has told her parents and is going to therapy which will be helping her a lot. I'm wondering, have you asked her how you can support her? If so, what did she say? 

[Sunnystorm]

Yeah. She said that just talking to me was helping, so I feel a bit better about that.

P.S. She doesn't live with her parents.

[Monsoon]

7 hours ago, Sunnystorm said:

Yeah. She said that just talking to me was helping, so I feel a bit better about that.

P.S. She doesn't live with her parents.

Hey,

There you go; you are already helping her which I knew you would be. I think that when there's someone we care about who is experiencing something challenging, we go into fix mode and feel like we aren't doing anything to help, but just by being there and letting them know you've got their back is immensely helpful. How has she been doing recently? 

[Sunnystorm]

She said she's been doing good. She said the therapy has been helping a lot, so that's good.

[Monsoon]

Oh, that's great. How are you feeling now she's doing better? 

[Sunnystorm]

Pretty good. There hasn't been that much drama other than that. There was something that happened in my voice lesson that bothered me. I am learning a piece in Spanish, and it the English lyrics go something like, "When I see a girl/I look the other way." As in, the person singing the song doesn't go after the girl in a romantic way. And the Spanish lyrics go "Cuando veo a una muchacha/Miro para otro lado." My voice teacher told me to change muchacha (basically meaning girl) to muchacho (basically meaning boy) because I am a girl. To accurately reflect my sexuality, I would still use the feminine form, but I wasn't about to tell my (Christian) voice teacher that. So yeah, that sucked. On a happier note, I've actually spoken to my crush a few times (yay!) and she seems to be interested in talking to me. That's basically it, though.

[Monsoon]

On 4/23/2022 at 5:08 AM, Sunnystorm said:

Pretty good. There hasn't been that much drama other than that. There was something that happened in my voice lesson that bothered me. I am learning a piece in Spanish, and it the English lyrics go something like, "When I see a girl/I look the other way." As in, the person singing the song doesn't go after the girl in a romantic way. And the Spanish lyrics go "Cuando veo a una muchacha/Miro para otro lado." My voice teacher told me to change muchacha (basically meaning girl) to muchacho (basically meaning boy) because I am a girl. To accurately reflect my sexuality, I would still use the feminine form, but I wasn't about to tell my (Christian) voice teacher that. So yeah, that sucked. On a happier note, I've actually spoken to my crush a few times (yay!) and she seems to be interested in talking to me. That's basically it, though.

Hey there,

Yeah that does suck about the voice lesson, and it might be that other things like that happen again until you come out, but it won't always be like this. What do you think?

Also, how exciting that you've spoken to your crush! Have you thought about asking them out? 

[Sunnystorm]

18 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah that does suck about the voice lesson, and it might be that other things like that happen again until you come out, but it won't always be like this. What do you think?

Also, how exciting that you've spoken to your crush! Have you thought about asking them out? 

I don't think I'm going to ask her out. Thanks to one of my other friends, who is friends with my crush, I know that she supports the LGBTQ+ community but is not part of it herself.  I do really want to be friends with her though, but sometimes feelings makes talking hard. :(

[Monsoon]

5 hours ago, Sunnystorm said:

I don't think I'm going to ask her out. Thanks to one of my other friends, who is friends with my crush, I know that she supports the LGBTQ+ community but is not part of it herself.  I do really want to be friends with her though, but sometimes feelings makes talking hard. :(

Hey there,

Can you tell me more about how those feelings make it hard? 

[Sunnystorm]

I'm scared I'll do something to embarrass myself. And I just get really nervous around her UGH SHE'S SO PRETTY

[Blondie]

7 hours ago, Sunnystorm said:

I'm scared I'll do something to embarrass myself. And I just get really nervous around her UGH SHE'S SO PRETTY

Hey, I'm Blondie, one of the support mentors. 

I think this is so relatable - when we really like someone there can be a kind of self induced pressure to act a certain way so that they like us...when in reality we just need to be ourselves.

Just take it slow and try to remind yourself that you have a lot of great qualities to offer a friend.