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advice for coming out?


gayer_than_a_rainbow    

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hi so I’m looking to come out to my parents, but I don’t know how… I’m bisexual, but still a younger teen so I’m kind of scared they’ll tell me “I’m too young” and just thrust me back into the closet… my dad doesn’t really care but my mum is transphobic, and somewhat homophobic so I don’t know how she’d react to me being bi… she sometimes says things about my older sister (by one year)'s friends and says things like "so they are a girl pretending to be a boy?" or vice versa when talking about trans people. She also says things like "how can you know you like girls/guys if you've never dated one?" asking about people who have come out as gay/bisexual/lesbian etc. I myself have never dated a girl, despite being bisexual, so it just makes me feel like she'll be like "oh but you don't really know that for sure now do you?"I have an adult sister that I could tell first but I don’t know if I want to and I’m just kind of stressed at the moment. I joke with my friends that I’m not coming out until I’m 21 and have a house and am no longer living with my parents, and sometimes I hope that that isn’t the truth. I don’t know what to do and if anyone could help it would be much appreciated <3

 

 

Edited by gayer_than_a_rainbow
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Hey @gayer_than_a_rainbow

Thank you for sharing this with us :)

I noticed what you said about how they would thrust you back in the closet, and I’m wondering, can you tell me more about how they would do that? 

Also, from what you said, it sounds like your parents haven’t quite been educated about the LGBTQ+ community yet, and I’m curious to know, how do you think things could be different once they learn more? 

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I guess they’d thrust me back in the closet by saying things like “I’m too young to be deciding these things” or “you can’t know that for sure” and overall just kind of denying my sexuality… as I’ve said in another post though, my dad doesn’t care about my sexuality , but I really don’t know how my mum would react… 

They know a handful of things about the community, but not much ig… I don’t know if they’d feel different if they knew more or not.

 

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I'm wondering, does anyone have the power to put anyone back in the closet? When you know who you are, then you know, and no matter what anyone says, they can't change that. What are your thoughts? 

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Yeah, I agree! 
really, no one has the power to I guess. It’s kinda just the fear, because I’ve known for just about 6 months  (give or take) with only my close friends knowing and I suppose people I’ll spend most of my life with knowing is just a strange concept to me? It just feels scary really. 
 

thanks :)

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Yeah, the fear is totally understandable, especially as you haven't known for that long, but the fact is, you know, and that's all that matters. How do you think you'll feel once you're out? 

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