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am i too kind or am i just really weak


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hi,

 

i was reading a topic about revenge, and a few people who did me wrong came to mind. one, that gave me trauma. two, that manipulated me, broke me, ruined me and my mental state for years, would still mock me about being too kind, and me.. still being silent about it. i already know it’s something i should just let past, revenging on someone who would make everything worse than before i started it. it’s been so long, but seeing how people stand up for themselves, actually do it and protect theirselves. the thought of being strong makes me shrink. i always say, the next time they do something wrong again, i’d definitely stand up for myself. then i don’t. i forgive them. but it sucks to be the only one suffering from it. it sucks to feel as the victim feeling the only one ruined. they’re free. they’re happy. i don’t really know now.. it’s almost 3 in the morning. i know im past this.. i guess.. but still, it hurts to know im the only one still thinking about those things. idk haha

i thought i was a strong person, bc at some things i really am, but situations really just hit you so suddenly. even when you think you’re all prepared.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

Thanks for sharing with us. The way you’re feeling now is totally normal; there is such a strong sense of injustice when someone has done you wrong, and it can be really hard to feel like you’re the only one suffering. I noticed what you said about how you thought you were strong, and I’m wondering, can you tell me why you’re not feeling that way at the moment? 

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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hi, i really appreciate your reply 

 

i feel like.. i moved past those things without actually fighting, i just learned how to overcome it uhm i, i just went through the feeling of being weak enough to stand up. like i haven’t stood up for myself really. it ended with me just realizing that, and moving on to keep myself at peace. but they.. they deserved to be humiliated and down like how they did to me. i am strong in the part that i can confront the main problem. and then after that, i become quiet, anf then they take advantage of that. they manipulate me into thinking “we” should forget about the problem. they push me around and make me uncomfortable around other people. i forgive and then they attack again, that’s when i feel so weak. i’m sorry i can’t explain nor express.. i know it’s gonna be hard to understand this. but thank you, letting this out knowing that someone sees, is enough for me. i know i should be strong, i know i can. i just feel so regretful and so vulnerable some times. again thank you so much.. 

 

 

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