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I want to ask out a girl...but I don't know if she likes anybody but boys


heymomifoundthewifitsgay Β  Β 

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Hi there.Β  I found this forum a few hours ago, and I wanted to ask relationship advice. I'm a lesbian, and the only one in my school I think. Everyone in my school is kinda obsessed with the opposite gender expect for me. There's this girl I like, and she's really chill. Not boy-crazy, and never talks about them. However, I've had a crush on her for a long time, but I'm afraid if I ask her out and she says no, I'll embarrass myself. Should I just keep this to myself, or should I ask her out?Β 

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9 hours ago, RussianKai said:

Hi there.Β  I found this forum a few hours ago, and I wanted to ask relationship advice. I'm a lesbian, and the only one in my school I think. Everyone in my school is kinda obsessed with the opposite gender expect for me. There's this girl I like, and she's really chill. Not boy-crazy, and never talks about them. However, I've had a crush on her for a long time, but I'm afraid if I ask her out and she says no, I'll embarrass myself. Should I just keep this to myself, or should I ask her out?Β 

Hey @RussianKai

Welcome!

I'm wondering, have you got a hunch about her sexuality? Also, how do you think she feels about you? What's your instinct telling you?Β 

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Hi @Monsoon! I do have a hunch, maybe she's bisexual or polysexual? I don't honestly know though, and other thing I'm scared about is if she rejects me, she'll likely be in my classes for about two more years. The thing about her is I can't honestly tell what's she thinking. She's one of those people that never really gets upset, or overjoyed.Β 

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Hey there,

Ah, okay, yeah, it sounds like she is pretty hard to read. I'm wondering, could you maybe get to know her a bit more first and try to find out if she is queer and go from there? What do you think?Β 

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22 hours ago, RussianKai said:

Thanks @Monsoon! I'll try to know her more, but let's see how my social anxiety does πŸ˜‚

Hey there,

Can you tell me more about your social anxiety? What's that like for you at the moment?Β 

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Hi @Monsoon! I have severe social anxiety, and I'm often uncomfortable talking to people that aren't my close friends or family. Not that I have friends. It's stressful for me.Β 

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5 hours ago, RussianKai said:

Hi @Monsoon! I have severe social anxiety, and I'm often uncomfortable talking to people that aren't my close friends or family. Not that I have friends. It's stressful for me.Β 

Hey @RussianKai

Thanks for sharing this with me. I'm wondering, how long have you been feeling anxious around social situations for? Also, why do you think you started to have these feelings originally?Β 

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Hi @Monsoon! I've honestly been anxious in social situations my entire life. My maternal side has huge anxiety and depression issues. I don't know why i started to have the feelings for the girl. Maybe I like her because of her confidence, but not over-confidence.Β 

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15 hours ago, RussianKai said:

Hi @Monsoon! I've honestly been anxious in social situations my entire life. My maternal side has huge anxiety and depression issues. I don't know why i started to have the feelings for the girl. Maybe I like her because of her confidence, but not over-confidence.Β 

Hey,

Thanks for sharing that with me. I'm wondering then, have you not always felt this way? If so, what was your life like before these feelings?Β 

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Hi @Monsoon! I've had these feelings or thoughts about seven months. Before, I never though about the queer community or activism, but I think about that constantly now.Β 

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Hey @RussianKai

Thanks for sharing that with me. I saw that you mentioned how some of your family struggle with their mental health, and I'm wondering, why do you think your own difficulties started? Are there any previous experiences that might have led you down this path?

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16 hours ago, RussianKai said:

Hi @Monsoon! I honestly don’t know for both questions.

Hey there,

That's okay. I'm wondering, would you find it helpful to have a chat about ways to cope with the social anxiety? It's completely up to you, no pressure. I like to check that someone wants help first rather than just going in with the support straight away. Speak soon.

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Hi @Monsoon! I think I’m fine with the help, I have two therapists and a mother with a bachelors degree in Psychology , and I meet with someone at least once a day. It’s just so severe that over four straight years of therapy haven’t helped at all.

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Just now, RussianKai said:

Hi @Monsoon! I think I’m fine with the help, I have two therapists and a mother with a bachelors degree in Psychology , and I meet with someone at least once a day. It’s just so severe that over four straight years of therapy haven’t helped at all.

WOW. You have an amazing support network.

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7 hours ago, RussianKai said:

Hi @Monsoon! I think I’m fine with the help, I have two therapists and a mother with a bachelors degree in Psychology , and I meet with someone at least once a day. It’s just so severe that over four straight years of therapy haven’t helped at all.

Hey,

Yeah, you definitely have a lot of support around you, but I noticed what you said about how the therapy hasn’t helped at all. Why do you think that is?Β 

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