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Advice on coming out?


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  • Digital Mentor
11 hours ago, Jazbo32 said:

I am wanting to come out to my parents as pansexual, genderfluid and polyamorous but they are very religious and I am afraid they will physically/verbally abuse me. Any advice? 

Hey @Jazbo32

Welcome to our community :)

I'm sorry to hear that you're afraid your parents will physically/verbally abuse you for coming out. I'm wondering, can you tell me a little bit more about why you think that could happen? My top advice for coming out is to always make sure it's safe to do so, and if it's not, then it's best to wait until you can do it safely, such as telling them when you have moved out and when you're of an age where you can support yourself. What do you think? 

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Abuse

Click this notice to reveal the content.
  1. Are they homophobic? Have they ever said anything to mock the LGBTQIA+ community or said any negative about them?
  2. Do they have any friends in that are in the community? A friend of theirs you can tell first so that they can give you advice on how they coming out or how to come out to your parents.
  3. How old are you? If they don't accept you after you come out there is a possibility that they can kick you out, if you are not old enough live on your own or you don't have anywhere else to go you can go like a friends house that is near,  it may not be the best idea.
  4. If they do end up physically or verbally abusing you, you need to contact 911/000. Remember to record conversations, take photos of scaring/bruises if possible as evidence of abuse. If you get your devices taken away from you tell a teacher and they can contact the police for you can't.

That's all the advice I have I hope this helps. 

 

Edited by Sara_Kito221
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  • Digital Mentor
On 1/12/2022 at 9:59 PM, Jazbo32 said:

They have mocked the LGBTQIA+ community multiple times. They have no friends in the community. I am 16. Thanks for the advice

Hey there,

Ah, okay, thanks for telling me more. What kind of things have they said? Also, do you think that they would put you in danger if you came out to them? 

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  • Digital Mentor
13 hours ago, Jazbo32 said:

I just felt very invalid and I am afraid they will abuse or kick me out if I tell them about my gender identity or sexual orientation

Hello,

Thanks for telling me that. I'm wondering, has there ever been any abuse before? I just thought I'd ask because of how you're scared they may abuse you for coming out. If there has, just remember that this is a safe space and I'm here to support you. It can be scary telling others, but sharing what's going on can help you get the support you might need. I hope to hear from you soon. Take care. 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

I'm glad to hear that there hasn't been any abuse, and I'm wondering if you can tell me a little bit more about that worry that they will start abusing you at some point. Where do you think that comes from? 

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  • Digital Mentor
6 hours ago, Jazbo32 said:

I have just heard stories about some religious parents abusing their LGBTQ+ kids and I am worried something like that will happen to me

Hey there,

I'm wondering, although they've made bad jokes and said gender fluidity is not real, do you think they could change their mind once you come out? Parents have a lot of love for their children which means that when their child comes out, because of the conflict between the love they have for their child and their views on LGBTQ+ identities, they often come face-to-face with their views which can lead to them becoming more open-minded and accepting. Although it can take a while to work through challenging views, it's important to consider the power that unconditional love has in helping parents to learn more. What do you think?

Also, with the stories you've heard about religious parents abusing their LGBTQ+ kids, has this happened to people you know? 

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