advice for figuring out your gender identity

[a human_56]

Hey,

I wanted to know if anyone has any general advice for figuring out your gender identity, whether that's what helped you or what could help others. I'm pretty sure I'm non-binary but I've been questioning what I could be within that (like agender, demigender, genderfluid etc.) and thought I'd ask here.

[Monsoon]

On 12/21/2021 at 4:45 AM, a human_56 said:

Hey,

I wanted to know if anyone has any general advice for figuring out your gender identity, whether that's what helped you or what could help others. I'm pretty sure I'm non-binary but I've been questioning what I could be within that (like agender, demigender, genderfluid etc.) and thought I'd ask here.

Hey there,

Thanks for bringing this to the community :)

I think that one of the best things you can do when questioning is to open up to others and ask them for advice, which you're already doing. I'm wondering, can you tell me what you feel your identity is on the inside, and what kinds of colours and images come to mind when you think about it? Try to write as freely as possible; whatever comes to mind, make a note of it and try to not overthink. Speak soon. 

[a human_56]

11 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Thanks for bringing this to the community :)

I think that one of the best things you can do when questioning is to open up to others and ask them for advice, which you're already doing. I'm wondering, can you tell me what you feel your identity is on the inside, and what kinds of colours and images come to mind when you think about it? Try to write as freely as possible; whatever comes to mind, make a note of it and try to not overthink. Speak soon. 

Thanks for replying, here goes:

I'm AFAB, but I feel disconnected from femininity and referring to myself as female. People referring to me as a girl, or using she/her pronouns makes me uncomfortable, and it really bothers me that most people see me as a girl. Regarding my identity, most of the time I kinda just feel like a person more than anything else, but I prefer to present more masculine (clothes, posture, having a deeper voice and having short hair). Lately I've noticed I spend a lot of time daydreaming about being mistaken for a guy. I've tried referring to myself using he/him pronouns and stuff but the whole idea of being male feels just as tense as being female does. 

When I think about colours and my gender identity, I picture blue, black, green and a bit of yellow. Without looking into it too much, I picture a bridge and a deserted alleyway. I know this is a pretty long comment, but I hope it's okay.

[Blondie]

On 12/23/2021 at 5:06 AM, a human_56 said:

Thanks for replying, here goes:

I'm AFAB, but I feel disconnected from femininity and referring to myself as female. People referring to me as a girl, or using she/her pronouns makes me uncomfortable, and it really bothers me that most people see me as a girl. Regarding my identity, most of the time I kinda just feel like a person more than anything else, but I prefer to present more masculine (clothes, posture, having a deeper voice and having short hair). Lately I've noticed I spend a lot of time daydreaming about being mistaken for a guy. I've tried referring to myself using he/him pronouns and stuff but the whole idea of being male feels just as tense as being female does. 

When I think about colours and my gender identity, I picture blue, black, green and a bit of yellow. Without looking into it too much, I picture a bridge and a deserted alleyway. I know this is a pretty long comment, but I hope it's okay.

Hey! Jumping in here to suggest that potentially you may identify as non-binary? To broadly generalise, this means that a persons gender identity doesn't sit well with either "male" or "female".