Bridgette1998 Posted December 19, 2021 Share Posted December 19, 2021 I need help!! I’ve been married for 2 years. Recently going through a divorce because of my confusion with my sexuality. I met a girl last month and fell for her hard. I have had a stronger attraction to females then males a year ago now I have no attraction to males just females. I’m not even attracted to my husband anymore but I don’t know how to tell him. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 19, 2021 Share Posted December 19, 2021 6 hours ago, Bridgette1998 said: I need help!! I’ve been married for 2 years. Recently going through a divorce because of my confusion with my sexuality. I met a girl last month and fell for her hard. I have had a stronger attraction to females then males a year ago now I have no attraction to males just females. I’m not even attracted to my husband anymore but I don’t know how to tell him. Hey there, Thanks for reaching out to us; you've come to the right place :) I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a divorce at the moment. How are you finding that? I'm wondering, because of the divorce, do you think your husband might have an idea about how you're not attracted to him? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19749 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bridgette1998 Posted December 19, 2021 Author Share Posted December 19, 2021 1 hour ago, Monsoon said: Hey there, Thanks for reaching out to us; you've come to the right place :) I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a divorce at the moment. How are you finding that? I'm wondering, because of the divorce, do you think your husband might have an idea about how you're not attracted to him? He knows I’m not attracted to him but only in a way. He thinks it’s cause I fell out of love with him and that I’m just going through a phase cause it’s something new. I don’t know if that’s what’s going on or if I’m actually gay MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19751 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 20, 2021 Share Posted December 20, 2021 Hey there, Ah, okay. Just so I understand your situation properly, does he not know about how you're questioning your sexuality at the moment? I saw what you said about how he thinks you're just going through a phase at the moment, so I'm thinking that might be him knowing about your period of questioning. Anyway, let me know and we can go from there. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19759 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bridgette1998 Posted December 21, 2021 Author Share Posted December 21, 2021 He knows I’m questioning thing. He thinks having a girlfriend for a short period of time is going to help things. That’s not what I want though. I want a girlfriend and I want to be able to come out as gay But I don’t want to hurt anyone MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19769 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 Hey there, I completely get that you don't want to hurt anyone, and I think the best way to avoid hurting people in the long run is to just be honest about what's going on for you. If you go ahead and have a girlfriend for a short time, I guess you aren't really living your truth because as you said, you want to come out. I'm wondering, by having a girlfriend for a short time, would the plan be to then go back to your husband? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19772 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bridgette1998 Posted December 21, 2021 Author Share Posted December 21, 2021 That’s what the plan would be but I don’t know how to tell him that that wouldn’t make me entirely happy. I would be disowned by his family and mine and we have 2 children together MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19777 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 Hey there, That is a really tough decision to make, and I can imagine that you’re feeling quite stressed by it all. How are you feeling ? I’m wondering, what is your gut feeling telling you to do? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19788 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bridgette1998 Posted December 22, 2021 Author Share Posted December 22, 2021 My gut feeling is telling me to go be with a girl. The girl that makes me truly happy. When my husband touches me it doesn’t feel good anymore. Not like when she does. I get like the crawly skin feeling when it does it but I don’t know how to tell him MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19790 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 23, 2021 Share Posted December 23, 2021 Hey there, I think that it's so important to do what makes you happy. Life is too short. I do know you have complications though when thinking about how your family will react. How are you feeling after connecting with your gut feeling? I wonder what you might do next? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19809 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bridgette1998 Posted December 23, 2021 Author Share Posted December 23, 2021 (edited) On 12/19/2021 at 4:52 PM, Monsoon said: Hey there, Thanks for reaching out to us; you've come to the right place :) I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a divorce at the moment. How are you finding that? I'm wondering, because of the divorce, do you think your husband might have an idea about how you're not attracted to him? I’m feeling better talking to someone about it but I still don’t know what to do Edited December 23, 2021 by Bridgette1998 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19813 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditch the Label Staff Blondie Posted December 24, 2021 Ditch the Label Staff Share Posted December 24, 2021 hey @Bridgette1998 I agree with Monsoon that life is too short. It could well be that your husband realises something is 'off' in your relationship and this will only continue as it's almost impossible to keep living as if all is fine when you are unhappy. I have a good friend that was in this situation for years - they were in a heterosexual relationship when actually they knew they were gay. Fearing their partners and family reaction this carried on until it all got too much and eventually told their partner before they were married. As it turns out, their family were completely loving and supportive and their partner, although hurt, was very understanding. They are now happily in a same sex relationship. I realise that it's never going to be an easy thing to do but ultimately neither one of you will be happy if you remain together. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19820 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bridgette1998 Posted December 24, 2021 Author Share Posted December 24, 2021 I told him that I don’t think either one of us will be happy but he does keep bringing up “relationships take work” And “are you sure your really gay cause you love me right?” Like, yes I love him but I’m not attracted to him anymore. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19824 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditch the Label Staff Blondie Posted December 24, 2021 Ditch the Label Staff Share Posted December 24, 2021 3 hours ago, Bridgette1998 said: I told him that I don’t think either one of us will be happy but he does keep bringing up “relationships take work” And “are you sure your really gay cause you love me right?” Like, yes I love him but I’m not attracted to him anymore. I can understand that he is trying everything to avoid separating. But I wonder if this might be easier on both of you if you speak to a counsellor together? You can then both voice everything and it may help him understand that loving someone and being attracted to them are very different. It might be an easier way to separate if you both feel more supported. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19826 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bridgette1998 Posted December 24, 2021 Author Share Posted December 24, 2021 I suggested to him to see a marriage counselor. I’m going to look for one. Cause I can’t get through to him MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19827 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditch the Label Staff Blondie Posted December 25, 2021 Ditch the Label Staff Share Posted December 25, 2021 15 hours ago, Bridgette1998 said: I suggested to him to see a marriage counselor. I’m going to look for one. Cause I can’t get through to him I really hope you find one as it would be a great help. Let us know how you get on. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/3211-confused/#findComment-19838 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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