ThatWitchyLesbian Posted November 18, 2021 Share Posted November 18, 2021 My parents divorced when I was 5, and I grew up with my dad's girlfriends. However, this one is WAY TOO YOUNG. She's 18, he's 52! He's trying to tell me to expect it, she's going to be my new stepmom. Bro, she's 2 years younger then me! This lady is homophobic! She doesn't know I'm gay, and makes comments like, "Every woman needs a man with the real deal." She doesn't say real deal, but you get it. No trans people, no gay people. So, I am the a-hole for refusing to accept her? Please comment below! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Learning how to love mysel Posted November 18, 2021 Share Posted November 18, 2021 Oh sweetie. I see that you are not in the best of situations but thats okay..I can understand that right now you are finding it difficult to accept that your dad is dating a woman who is younger than you..But what do you think about their relationship ..is it really good? Do they really love each other..if it is so..I am afraid you'll have to be understanding which will be difficult for you i know love but you can try and I am sure you will adjust..For starters lets be nice to her okay? ..if she is not very hospitable ..you can try at first and if that doesn't work out... straight up ignore her....and she is homophobic ? Really? Ugh .. that's just pathetic of her. But you don't have to worry at all, what if she is homophobic? ..you don't have to care and if she meddles in your business, ignoreee(actually i want to say KICK HER ASS but I won't since uk.. obvious reasons.).. and just be happy ..find happiness whenever and wherever you can . Be strong..you can go through this. And i understand what you're feeling.. Love love -A 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted November 18, 2021 Share Posted November 18, 2021 14 hours ago, ThatWitchyLesbian said: My parents divorced when I was 5, and I grew up with my dad's girlfriends. However, this one is WAY TOO YOUNG. She's 18, he's 52! He's trying to tell me to expect it, she's going to be my new stepmom. Bro, she's 2 years younger then me! This lady is homophobic! She doesn't know I'm gay, and makes comments like, "Every woman needs a man with the real deal." She doesn't say real deal, but you get it. No trans people, no gay people. So, I am the a-hole for refusing to accept her? Please comment below! Hey there, Welcome to our community :) How have you found it since they have been in a relationship? I can imagine that it's hard for you with her being so close in age. I'm wondering, can you tell me more about the other homophobic things she has said? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatWitchyLesbian Posted November 18, 2021 Author Share Posted November 18, 2021 @Learning how to love mysel @Monsoon Thanks guys for replying! I meant to say she was 2 years older than me, she's 18. She's said stuff like, "These lesbians need a man," "Men need a woman to have sex with," and transphobic stuff like, "These people are born with this gender, so stick with it." This offends as part of the LGTBQ+ community, but she doesn't know I'm gay. She's just a really toxic person, and they're engaged. My mom lives in Russia, so I can't live with her. I'm 16, so I'm stuck with them likely until I'm 18. I need to find ways to deal with her, or make my dad realize she's toxic. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted November 19, 2021 Share Posted November 19, 2021 Hey there, Ah, that sounds really tough. How are you feeling about it all? I'm wondering, if you had a friend in the same situation, what advice would you give to them for dealing with her? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatWitchyLesbian Posted November 19, 2021 Author Share Posted November 19, 2021 @Monsoon I feel awful about this situation. I can't have this woman in my life, or anyone's life. I guess if I had a friend in the same situation, I would try to call her out. I'll try that and see how it goes! Thanks! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Learning how to love mysel Posted November 20, 2021 Share Posted November 20, 2021 3 hours ago, ThatWitchyLesbian said: @Monsoon I feel awful about this situation. I can't have this woman in my life, or anyone's life. I guess if I had a friend in the same situation, I would try to call her out. I'll try that and see how it goes! Thanks! Hmmmm ..now I see that she is a toxic person. Have you ever talked to your dad about this? What do you think he'll do after you tell him? And why does she want to marry your father who has the age to be her father? Do you have any idea? I think you should do something to prove that she won't be a good addition to your family. Like have conversation about this stuff and the whole marriage thing while you secretly record it and show it to your father that is if her intentions are not good. But sit back and think for sometime if its really her who is causing this problem or is it that you can't adjust to the situation okay?... And remember you should think from their shoes too. Do not forget to be happy all the time Love love -A MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatWitchyLesbian Posted November 20, 2021 Author Share Posted November 20, 2021 @Learning how to love mysel I can't adjust to the situation because the lady is so similar in age. How am I gonna think her shoes as an LGTBQ+ person? She just wants to marry my father for her money. @Monsoon I tried to call her out, but she said, "Gay people are evil." To both of y'all, I tried showing my father her intentions by showing her how she doesn't support the LGTBQ+ community, he knows I'm gay, and we got into a fight because he loves her even if she doesn't support me, and I have to suck up and deal with it. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted November 20, 2021 Share Posted November 20, 2021 15 hours ago, ThatWitchyLesbian said: @Monsoon I feel awful about this situation. I can't have this woman in my life, or anyone's life. I guess if I had a friend in the same situation, I would try to call her out. I'll try that and see how it goes! Thanks! Hey there, Yeah, I think it's really important to gently challenge people when they express views like you've described. I'm wondering, what do you think about the advice from @Learning how to love mysel? Have you spoken with your dad about it? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatWitchyLesbian Posted November 20, 2021 Author Share Posted November 20, 2021 @Monsoon Learning to love mysel's advice isn't really helping me, honestly. I just can't come where she is. It's so hard to be happy, and if you check out my new post, I'm being harassed at school being called Gay Girl as a sl*r. My reply above shows I've spoken with Dad, and he is still going though with out even though she is treating others horribly. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Learning how to love mysel Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 18 hours ago, ThatWitchyLesbian said: @Monsoon Learning to love mysel's advice isn't really helping me, honestly. I just can't come where she is. It's so hard to be happy, and if you check out my new post, I'm being harassed at school being called Gay Girl as a sl*r. My reply above shows I've spoken with Dad, and he is still going though with out even though she is treating others horribly. Oh I am so sorry that I am not of any help to you. Its okay dear. Things will get better .trust me. Let's think about some other things you can do and you shdnt be sad because there are like a lot of people here to help you the staff members are great. You needn't worry. Love love -A MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 18 hours ago, ThatWitchyLesbian said: @Monsoon Learning to love mysel's advice isn't really helping me, honestly. I just can't come where she is. It's so hard to be happy, and if you check out my new post, I'm being harassed at school being called Gay Girl as a sl*r. My reply above shows I've spoken with Dad, and he is still going though with out even though she is treating others horribly. Hey there, Yeah, it's so hard to tolerate people when they have such different views to yourself. You sound so accepting and open-minded which is really lovely, and hopefully your dad's girlfriend can learn from you. I don't think that there's much else you can do in this situation, other than continuing to challenge her views if you feel the need to. What do you think? I think that tolerance is key here, because it might be that she continues to have these views no matter what you say. I know this isn't ideal, but it doesn't sound like she is going anywhere anytime soon. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatWitchyLesbian Posted November 21, 2021 Author Share Posted November 21, 2021 @Monsoon Yeah, I'm staying with my friend a lot, so sometimes I go there to get a break. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 2 hours ago, ThatWitchyLesbian said: @Monsoon Yeah, I'm staying with my friend a lot, so sometimes I go there to get a break. Hey, Yeah, it must be good for you to get away. I think that in this situation, it can be good to try and find some common ground with the person you're having issues with; as I said, it's unlikely that she will change her views quickly, if at all, and in that kind of situation, we can't do much else really, other than build our ability to tolerate and accept different points of view. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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