Firefly 23 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Other Click this notice to reveal the content. I don't feel valid right now...Everyone keeps saying that non-binary doesn't exist and that is affecting me...How can I tell them that it is real and am I valid? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 14, 2021 Share Posted October 14, 2021 Hey there, I'm really sorry that people are invalidating you like this. Can I ask, what does it make you think and feel when someone says something like that? Also, I'm wondering, who is saying this to you? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly 23 Posted October 14, 2021 Author Share Posted October 14, 2021 It is just someone at school and it upsets me very much when I hear this...It affects my mental issues like anxiety or depression..I also deal with gender dy@sp*ria sometimes and that is tough to deal with.. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditch the Label Staff Blondie Posted October 15, 2021 Ditch the Label Staff Share Posted October 15, 2021 19 hours ago, Firefly 23 said: It is just someone at school and it upsets me very much when I hear this...It affects my mental issues like anxiety or depression..I also deal with gender dy@sp*ria sometimes and that is tough to deal with.. Let us be one of the voices reassuring you that you and your identity are completely valid. Although sometimes logic will tell us we shouldn't let this affect us but of course, we're human and these things really can be upsetting. Sometimes it's goo to remind ourselves how great we actually are - what sort of things do you like about yourself? It could be anything at all like the colour of your eyes, how funny you are to how good you are at something! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly 23 Posted October 15, 2021 Author Share Posted October 15, 2021 Thank you very much! I like how creative I am and I also do like my eye color. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lillyx Posted October 15, 2021 Share Posted October 15, 2021 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Other Click this notice to reveal the content. On 10/13/2021 at 5:55 PM, Firefly 23 said: I don't feel valid right now...Everyone keeps saying that non-binary doesn't exist and that is affecting me...How can I tell them that it is real and am I valid? your valid gurlll MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly 23 Posted October 15, 2021 Author Share Posted October 15, 2021 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Other Click this notice to reveal the content. 1 minute ago, Lillyrose4 said: your valid gurlll Awe thanks!!!! *Happy enby noises* MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lillyx Posted October 15, 2021 Share Posted October 15, 2021 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Other Click this notice to reveal the content. Just now, Firefly 23 said: Awe thanks!!!! *Happy enby noises* no worries MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 On 10/15/2021 at 2:17 PM, Firefly 23 said: Thank you very much! I like how creative I am and I also do like my eye color. Hey It's great to hear the things that you like about yourself I'm wondering, how are you feeling today? Are you feeling any better at all? It's completely okay if not, and I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Speak soon. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly 23 Posted October 17, 2021 Author Share Posted October 17, 2021 8 hours ago, Monsoon said: Hey It's great to hear the things that you like about yourself I'm wondering, how are you feeling today? Are you feeling any better at all? It's completely okay if not, and I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Speak soon. Yeah (I feel much more valid now!) But I do have a problem though..My mom isn't using my preferred name and still calls me by my deadname..She also is still using the wrong pronouns.. She was also joking about my pronouns and I was (And still is) upset about that because I'd rather her ACTULAY use them instead of joke about them like they aren't important. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lillyx Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 Just now, Firefly 23 said: Yeah (I feel much more valid now!) But I do have a problem though..My mom isn't using my preferred name and still calls me by my deadname..She also is still using the wrong pronouns.. tell her to respect you and if she hates it then you have us. least you've tried hugs it pisses me off when people disrespect others it fucking annoys me as its horrible MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly 23 Posted October 17, 2021 Author Share Posted October 17, 2021 5 minutes ago, Lillyrose4 said: tell her to respect you and if she hates it then you have us. least you've tried hugs it pisses me off when people disrespect others it fucking annoys me as its horrible Here's the thing I've tried..she gets upset whenever I do.. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lillyx Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 3 minutes ago, Firefly 23 said: Here's the thing I've tried..she gets upset whenever I do.. tell her shes a disapoiment idc if i get banned for saying that but she is she should respect you MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly 23 Posted October 17, 2021 Author Share Posted October 17, 2021 37 minutes ago, Lillyrose4 said: tell her shes a disapoiment idc if i get banned for saying that but she is she should respect you Is it a bad thing if I sometimes think that she could do better as a mother..? (I hope that you don't get banned! I would miss you) MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 On 10/17/2021 at 5:03 PM, Firefly 23 said: Yeah (I feel much more valid now!) But I do have a problem though..My mom isn't using my preferred name and still calls me by my deadname..She also is still using the wrong pronouns.. She was also joking about my pronouns and I was (And still is) upset about that because I'd rather her ACTULAY use them instead of joke about them like they aren't important. Hey there, I'm sorry to hear that your mom is deadnaming you and using the wrong pronouns. How does that make you feel? I wonder why she is joking about it? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly 23 Posted October 18, 2021 Author Share Posted October 18, 2021 7 minutes ago, Monsoon said: Hey there, I'm sorry to hear that your mom is deadnaming you and using the wrong pronouns. How does that make you feel? I wonder why she is joking about it? It frustrates me and I have nothing in my power to stop her from doing it. She is my mother and I can't tell her to stop without her thinking that I am being rude..It brings up negative feelings and I feel like she doesn't care enough to respect me on them...Being deadnamed sucks also (I never even say my own deadname even when referring to it..) I wish that I can flat out ignore her sometimes but scene I am her kid I can't..(She also likes to call me by femminine terms also and that is hard to deal with; Especisply when I don't like or go by female or male terms that make me uncomfortable..) Honestly when she does deadname or uses the wrong pronouns for me it makes me severely uncomfortable.. (I am sorry that this is long..) MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 Hey there, Yeah, I totally get why this is so frustrating for you. I really can understand why it is so uncomfortable for you, especially being deadnamed. I'm wondering, is there someone you could ask to speak to your mum about how she is treating you at the moment, like another family member? It may help coming from someone else. Also, I saw that you mentioned how she asked for your pronouns today; how did that make you feel? I wonder why she asked that? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly 23 Posted October 19, 2021 Author Share Posted October 19, 2021 It made me feel happy! Like she was trying to slowly work herself up to using them (or she is trying to educate herself on it!) Also, No I don't think that there is an adult that can talk to her about it.. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 Hey there, How are you doing today? I'm glad to hear it made you feel happy. I also think that she is trying to slowly work herself up to using them. I know that it's not ideal and she should do it right away, but I think that this is a really promising sign - what do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly 23 Posted October 20, 2021 Author Share Posted October 20, 2021 I agree with you! (I just still wish that she did use them..) MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 Hey there, How are you doing today? Yeah, hopefully she does start moving towards that. The fact that she asked makes me think that she is planning to do that. I wonder, each time she gets your pronoun wrong, could you try politely correcting her or saying that you'd prefer it if she used your real pronouns? It's important to stay calm and friendly for this so that she doesn't get defensive. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly 23 Posted October 21, 2021 Author Share Posted October 21, 2021 That is a good idea! I am doing okay enough today though.. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 22, 2021 Share Posted October 22, 2021 Hey, Yeah, let me know how it goes trying that out. As I said, try to remain calm and keep a positive tone of voice as that will really help. How is everything else going for you? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly 23 Posted October 22, 2021 Author Share Posted October 22, 2021 Good enough! (I will let you know!) MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 23, 2021 Share Posted October 23, 2021 Hey, Yeah, let us know. Good luck with it all. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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