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I'm nonbinary!


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I don't feel valid right now...Everyone keeps saying that non-binary doesn't exist and that is affecting me...How can I tell them that it is real and am I valid?

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

I'm really sorry that people are invalidating you like this. Can I ask, what does it make you think and feel when someone says something like that? Also, I'm wondering, who is saying this to you?

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It is just someone at school and it upsets me very much when I hear this...It affects my mental issues like anxiety or depression..I also deal with gender dy@sp*ria sometimes and that is tough to deal with.. 

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19 hours ago, Firefly 23 said:

It is just someone at school and it upsets me very much when I hear this...It affects my mental issues like anxiety or depression..I also deal with gender dy@sp*ria sometimes and that is tough to deal with.. 

Let us be one of the voices reassuring you that you and your identity are completely valid. Although sometimes logic will tell us we shouldn't let this affect us but of course, we're human and these things really can be upsetting.

Sometimes it's goo to remind ourselves how great we actually are - what sort of things do you like about yourself? It could be anything at all like the colour of your eyes, how funny you are to how good you are at something!  

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On 10/13/2021 at 5:55 PM, Firefly 23 said:

I don't feel valid right now...Everyone keeps saying that non-binary doesn't exist and that is affecting me...How can I tell them that it is real and am I valid?

your valid gurlll

Keep smiling beautiful 

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On 10/15/2021 at 2:17 PM, Firefly 23 said:

Thank you very much! I like how creative I am and I also do like my eye color. 

Hey 

It's great to hear the things that you like about yourself 🙂

I'm wondering, how are you feeling today? Are you feeling any better at all? It's completely okay if not, and I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Speak soon. 

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8 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey 

It's great to hear the things that you like about yourself 🙂

I'm wondering, how are you feeling today? Are you feeling any better at all? It's completely okay if not, and I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Speak soon. 

Yeah (I feel much more valid now!)

But I do have a problem though..My mom isn't using my preferred name and still calls me by my deadname..She also is still using the wrong pronouns..

She was also joking about my pronouns and I was (And still is) upset about that because I'd rather her ACTULAY use them instead of joke about them like they aren't important.

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Just now, Firefly 23 said:

Yeah (I feel much more valid now!)

But I do have a problem though..My mom isn't using my preferred name and still calls me by my deadname..She also is still using the wrong pronouns..

tell her to respect you and if she hates it then you have us. least you've tried hugs it pisses me off when people disrespect others it fucking annoys me as its horrible 

Keep smiling beautiful 

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5 minutes ago, Lillyrose4 said:

tell her to respect you and if she hates it then you have us. least you've tried hugs it pisses me off when people disrespect others it fucking annoys me as its horrible 

Here's the thing I've tried..she gets upset whenever I do..

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37 minutes ago, Lillyrose4 said:

tell her shes a disapoiment idc if i get banned for saying that but she is she should respect you

Is it a bad thing if I sometimes think that she could do better as a mother..? (I hope that you don't get banned! I would miss you)

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On 10/17/2021 at 5:03 PM, Firefly 23 said:

Yeah (I feel much more valid now!)

But I do have a problem though..My mom isn't using my preferred name and still calls me by my deadname..She also is still using the wrong pronouns..

She was also joking about my pronouns and I was (And still is) upset about that because I'd rather her ACTULAY use them instead of joke about them like they aren't important.

Hey there, 

I'm sorry to hear that your mom is deadnaming you and using the wrong pronouns. How does that make you feel? I wonder why she is joking about it?

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7 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there, 

I'm sorry to hear that your mom is deadnaming you and using the wrong pronouns. How does that make you feel? I wonder why she is joking about it?

It frustrates me and I have nothing in my power to stop her from doing it. She is my mother and I can't tell her to stop without her thinking that I am being rude..It brings up negative feelings and I feel like she doesn't care enough to respect me on them...Being deadnamed sucks also (I never even say my own deadname even when referring to it..) I wish that I can flat out ignore her sometimes but scene I am her kid I can't..(She also likes to call me by femminine terms also and that is hard to deal with; Especisply when I don't like or go by female or male terms that make me uncomfortable..) Honestly when she does deadname or uses the wrong pronouns for me it makes me severely uncomfortable..

(I am sorry that this is long..)

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Hey there,

Yeah, I totally get why this is so frustrating for you. I really can understand why it is so uncomfortable for you, especially being deadnamed. I'm wondering, is there someone you could ask to speak to your mum about how she is treating you at the moment, like another family member? It may help coming from someone else. Also, I saw that you mentioned how she asked for your pronouns today; how did that make you feel? I wonder why she asked that? 🙂

 

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It made me feel happy! Like she was trying to slowly work herself up to using them (or she is trying to educate herself on it!) 

Also, No I don't think that there is an adult that can talk to her about it..

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

How are you doing today? I'm glad to hear it made you feel happy. I also think that she is trying to slowly work herself up to using them. I know that it's not ideal and she should do it right away, but I think that this is a really promising sign - what do you think? 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

How are you doing today?

Yeah, hopefully she does start moving towards that. The fact that she asked makes me think that she is planning to do that. I wonder, each time she gets your pronoun wrong, could you try politely correcting her or saying that you'd prefer it if she used your real pronouns? It's important to stay calm and friendly for this so that she doesn't get defensive. What do you think? 

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