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Coming Out


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I'm pansexual, and I'm in a relationship with a transgender guy, but my parents have no idea about either of those things. They're very religious and super homophobic, and everytime they make gay joke, or talk about how I should stay away from 'those people', I feel so angry. I do want to come out, but I'm not sure how. I'm going on a band trip in March for a week, and I'm planning on telling them right before the trip so they have some time to settle down, but I'm not sure how to tell them.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

Thanks for asking us for help with this. How are you feeling about it all? It sounds like you’re carrying some stress right now, so I just thought I would check and see how you’re getting on. I always advise people in your situation to make sure that it’s safe to come out, so, I’m wondering, would you feel safe doing it? If there’s a chance of danger, like being abused, kicked out, or even sent to a conversion camp, then it’s best to wait until you can guarantee your safety. What do you think? 

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I don't feel like they would do any of those above things, but they might take me out of school, because for a long time, they've thought that the school has too many people with 'gender or sexuality confusion'.  That's a big reason why I don't want to tell them. I also do feel like they would do things like not allow me to see my friends, as most of my friends are LGBTQ+. 

Right now, I just feel very angry all the time, and there are some times I wish that I had different parents.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

From what you've said, I totally understand your feeling of being angry all the time which is a completely normal reaction in this kind of situation. I'm wondering, do you think that over time, they could change the way they feel about LGBTQ+? There are plenty of parents out there that change their minds once their child comes out. The love a parent has for their child is so strong, and it is really powerful in helping people to open up their minds and become more accepting. What do you think? 

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