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Does being gay or lesbian mean you are exclusively attracted to those who identify as binary male/female, or can people on the non-binary spectrum be included in this as well?


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Hey,

I'm pretty sure that it's generally expected that gay and straight people aren't attracted to anyone who isn't binary male/female, and that being attracted to people on the non-binary spectrum means you're bi/pan/poly/omnisexual. I know some people don't feel comfortable identifying as bi or something similar, as they generally only like those of the opposite or same gender. I'm finding this aspect of sexuality really confusing, as you can't really determine someone's gender from their appearance. I wanted to know if it's just a personal preference thing where you adapt labels to fit you or if there's something I'm missing.ย 

For example, if you were 90% gay and 10% attracted to those on the non-binary spectrum,ย  would that make you (by definition) bi/pan/poly/omni even if the percentage was really small.

As an afterthought, would this be because the terms lesbian, gay and bisexual were made at a time when being non-binary wasn't really recognised?

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12 hours ago, a human_56 said:

Hey,

I'm pretty sure that it's generally expected that gay and straight people aren't attracted to anyone who isn't binary male/female, and that being attracted to people on the non-binary spectrum means you're bi/pan/poly/omnisexual. I know some people don't feel comfortable identifying as bi or something similar, as they generally only like those of the opposite or same gender. I'm finding this aspect of sexuality really confusing, as you can't really determine someone's gender from their appearance. I wanted to know if it's just a personal preference thing where you adapt labels to fit you or if there's something I'm missing.ย 

For example, if you were 90% gay and 10% attracted to those on the non-binary spectrum,ย  would that make you (by definition) bi/pan/poly/omni even if the percentage was really small.

As an afterthought, would this be because the terms lesbian, gay and bisexual were made at a time when being non-binary wasn't really recognised?

Hey there,

I think you raise really interesting questions here. I'm wondering, if you saw this exact same comment from someone else, what would your reply be?ย 

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8 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I think you raise really interesting questions here. I'm wondering, if you saw this exact same comment from someone else, what would your reply be?ย 

Hey, thanks for replying

I would tell them that it's up to them, no one perfectly fits a label anyway and it's not something that's spoken about much.

I think that's the answer I was looking for.

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Hey there,

Yeah, I think that its' important to just go with your heart, and if you like someone, let yourself feel it, even if they don't fit within the box of what you tend to go for. What do you think?ย 

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20 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, I think that its' important to just go with your heart, and if you like someone, let yourself feel it, even if they don't fit within the box of what you tend to go for. What do you think?ย 

Yeah, I agree with you, nothing is black and white and I don't want to limit myself just because someone isn't who I'm usually attracted to.

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Hey,

Yeah, that's a really great attitude to have. I think that we all end up putting restrictions on ourselves at some point, but it's really good to be aware of them and know when we need to go outside of that box!

How is everything else for you at the moment? Would you like support with anything else?ย 

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21 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Yeah, that's a really great attitude to have. I think that we all end up putting restrictions on ourselves at some point, but it's really good to be aware of them and know when we need to go outside of that box!

How is everything else for you at the moment? Would you like support with anything else?ย 

Yeah, that's really true. I'm doing pretty well at the moment, thanks for asking though.

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4 hours ago, a human_56 said:

Yeah, that's really true. I'm doing pretty well at the moment, thanks for asking though.

Hey @a human_56

I'm glad to hear that you're doing pretty well. If you do need support at any point, you know where we are. Take care and best of luck with everything.ย 

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On 10/8/2021 at 11:14 PM, a human_56 said:

Hey,

I'm pretty sure that it's generally expected that gay and straight people aren't attracted to anyone who isn't binary male/female, and that being attracted to people on the non-binary spectrum means you're bi/pan/poly/omnisexual. I know some people don't feel comfortable identifying as bi or something similar, as they generally only like those of the opposite or same gender. I'm finding this aspect of sexuality really confusing, as you can't really determine someone's gender from their appearance. I wanted to know if it's just a personal preference thing where you adapt labels to fit you or if there's something I'm missing.ย 

For example, if you were 90% gay and 10% attracted to those on the non-binary spectrum,ย  would that make you (by definition) bi/pan/poly/omni even if the percentage was really small.

As an afterthought, would this be because the terms lesbian, gay and bisexual were made at a time when being non-binary wasn't really recognised?

I think if you are attracted to guys, you can be less so attracted to guys as you are masc folks, and same for if your attracted to females.

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