ElijahB Posted October 2, 2021 Share Posted October 2, 2021 So, my friend just moved back from another state, and I've been really exited to see him. He's changed a lot, and he seems very open and accepting to people. Now the thing is: my memory of him was sorta from before I realized I was gay, and when we met up for the first time in like three years, I was completely shocked to find out that he was WAY more handsome than I remembered. But the thing was, he also would act gay for a laugh, and I would sorta laugh along with him (because I haven't come out) And I thought it was all well and good, because I had read from some random article online that some guys would test out their sexuality by passing it off as a joke, so I believed that I might have a chance. And he continued, and still continues to act gay to make people laugh, and after a while, I decided (Why on earth, or how on earth I was so stupid I still have no idea) to ask him, I quote: "All joking aside, and in all seriousness, do you like guys?" He looked really weirded out, and eventually said no, and since I had absolutely no plan beyond asking him, just responded with "Okay." I had asked this as we were packing up to leave a coffee shop, and I tried to change the topic on our way out. We said goodbye and drove off, and I screamed at myself in the car for being as stupid as I was. And since he and I are on a group chat together with some other people, I saw some of his messages, and he still was joking around, pretending to be gay. Anyway, it was infuriating that he still treated it like a joke. My bigger worry is that I might have gone too far in asking him if he was gay, what are your guys' opinion? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 2, 2021 Share Posted October 2, 2021 Hey @ElijahB I think that you were fine to ask if he was gay. It's pretty confusing to see someone act like this a lot, and it does make you wonder, especially if you find them attractive. However, it does raise the question as to whether it really is a joke to act gay, because what does it even mean when you think about it? How does it make you feel when you see him acting gay? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElijahB Posted October 2, 2021 Author Share Posted October 2, 2021 When he acts like that, it feels just plain disingenuous, like I know he thinks its a joke, and maybe if it were just once it might've been fine, but I think it gets old really quick. I guess when he first did it, it felt fine because I thought there was a chance, but then after he said no, and still acted like that, it felt (weird?) I guess? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 3, 2021 Share Posted October 3, 2021 Hey, Yeah, I can totally see your perspective. As you said, the first time, you thought there might be a chance, but now, you're feeling like it's weird. How are you feeling about it all today? What do you think your next move might be? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElijahB Posted October 3, 2021 Author Share Posted October 3, 2021 He and I have still been texting, and it doesn't feel any different really. I think it was just really awkward in the moment. Like a topic that was sort of unexpected, and personal. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 4, 2021 Share Posted October 4, 2021 Hey, I’m glad to hear it doesn’t feel any different. It can sometimes be a bit awkward moving past a moment like this, but it sounds like it’s all going well for you two How is everything else going? Would you like support with other things? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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