Problem with teachers (shyness)

[Alex019]

Hi everyone, this is my first post here. I have a problem that's making me feel rather down, so I thought I should share it here.

My problem is related to my college teachers. Namely, I was always rather shy when in the presence of teachers. I have attended all the lectures I needed some five years ago, then made a break from college. Now, I am just passing exams, so I am seeing my teachers only during exams and later, when I pass the exam and need their signatures. 

But, because I am shy I always tend to sort of frown when I see them, and I communicate in an uptight way. Last week, I frowned at my teacher when I saw him, and when he extended his hand in greeting, instead of shaking his hand I simply passed him my index for him to sign. He was not pleased, but didn't say anything. Other teachers think that I hate them, because of the way I am socially treating them. Today, I was determined to at least smile at the two teachers who were signing my index, but while I was talking to one (who made a casual remark that she thinks I hate her, which confused me; I did smile upon seeing her, though), the other teacher passed by and smiled at me,  and I just frowned because I was feeling nervous while talking to the other teacher.

What's worse, the teacher I frowned at today needs to help me with a certain important bureaucratic problem I am having. She thought I needed to tell the clerk something else, so she said to also mention that she would be coming there with regards to this bureaucratic problem. But, I have already visited the clerk earlier, so I felt silly going there just to tell them that she  was coming. Still, all put together, she could interpret my not going to the clerk as an insult, as she perhaps doesn't understand that I am frowning because of my shyness, and she hasn't replied to my e-mail from today, yet.

Other teachers think that I hate them, too.

If I were to attend lectures now, I would be active during lectures and would certainly loosen up after a while, but it is too late for that now.

Anyway, it really bugs me a lot that I have such a relationship with teachers, especially because I actually think they're all right. I feel really bad and I hate myself for treating them in such a way. I needed to share this with someone, so thanks for reading.  Feel free to comment. 

 

 

[Monsoon]

Hey @Alex019

Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here which means that I give advice and support to those who reach out to us for advice  

Thank you for explaining what's going on for you in this level of detail as it's really helped me to understand. How do you feel after sharing with us? I can totally see why you would get frustrated over reacting to people this way, because it seems like you're really aware of it and how it affects others. I'm wondering, how does it feel for you in the moment when you are interacting with a teacher? Also, I'm curious to know, how do you interact with other people in your life?