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In love with gay best friend


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I'm a asexual and for the most part I consider myself to be aromatic as well. I met my current best friend (male and gay, I'm a girl) a few years ago and overtime we became each other's closest confidante and we are almost always together.  I don't handle emotions well (I suppress everything) but we always talk to each other so easily and I've never confided in someone before like I do with him. He's the same way too, we trust each other so much. I have a lot of really good friends but I don't feel the same about them like I do about him. The other day,  he held me so tightly and didn't let go of me the whole night when I was having an emotional breakdown. He let me sleep at his house and I felt so safe and happy laying in his arms (I usually hate being touched) and I've come to realize recently that I am so desperately in love with him. At first I thought it was a family love I felt but now I know that I was just in denial. I know he's gay and I know nothing will ever come of this but it hurts so much not being able to say anything because I don't want to ruin this friendship.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Lullaby

Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here which means that I give advice and support to our members; it's great to have you here 🙂

I just want to say that I'm sorry to hear that you are hurting because of this. Your feelings are totally valid; to be in love with someone and know nothing will ever come of it must be really painful for you to acknowledge, and I just want you to know that we are here for you if you need to talk. I know that you feel like you can't say anything to him which I totally get, but it's good that you can talk to others about it as this will help you to process these feelings. How are you feeling after letting it all out? 

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10 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @Lullaby

Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here which means that I give advice and support to our members; it's great to have you here 🙂

I just want to say that I'm sorry to hear that you are hurting because of this. Your feelings are totally valid; to be in love with someone and know nothing will ever come of it must be really painful for you to acknowledge, and I just want you to know that we are here for you if you need to talk. I know that you feel like you can't say anything to him which I totally get, but it's good that you can talk to others about it as this will help you to process these feelings. How are you feeling after letting it all out? 

I actually feel a bit lighter after finally voicing everything I've kept to myself. It still hurts but I don't feel so alone in these feelings anymore. I know I can work through this with time and that I'll be okay. It's very nice to know I can express myself here, thank you very much.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Lullaby

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling a bit lighter and that you're not alone in these feelings anymore. I think that before we open up, we feel completely alone and helpless, so it's great that you've spoken to us about how you feel.  Time really is the best thing for what you're going through, and it's good to hear that you know you can work through it. I wonder, do you think there is anything else you can do to help work through this? 

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