I don’t know if I am being crazy or not

[kateaux]

Hi! 
so there is a situation. I can fuss about little things and I have a tendency to blow things out of proportion because I get emotionally overwhelmed. So right now I am really really angry but I don’t know if this is a valid problem. I will explain what the situation is. So my boyfriend has friends (ofcourse). But there is this one girl that messages him along the lines of “hi babe! ”. Now I don’t go thru his phone but this stood out. For extra info. My boyfriend and I rarely talk via text and when we do it’s very informative and not at all flirty. I have told my boyfriend that I don’t like the way she talked to him and that I don’t even know her so I feel uncomfortable with this speech. And I asked him to handle it and correct her. He told me he did. This was a while ago and I trust my boyfriend. But just now I wanted to check the time as I couldn’t fall asleep. And I noticed another “hi babe! ” text. Now I am sick to my stomach. I am so angry.  But I also know that he is not obligated to do anything for me. Now I want to adres this to him like this.

i know you are not obligated to do anything for me as you are your own person. But I have expressed my feelings about this before and have asked you to do something about it. This reoccurring behaviour leads me to think that you have not handled the situation. I no longer have trust in you and therefore I feel the need to end this relationship. 
 

I don’t know if this would be dramatic or overreacting, so I would love some advice. Especially because we have been together for almost 4 years and I don’t want to leave him but I kinda feel as if there is no other option because I feel very backstabbed. 

[Monsoon]

Hey @kateaux

Thank you for coming to us for advice about this. I am with you in that knowing your partner is receiving those kinds of messages is uncomfortable, and I'm glad that he said he would handle it. I'm wondering, do you know if he has corrected her again following the other message? I completely get your feelings, and it might be that he did sort it out and now she has started doing it again, which is out of his control, and the only thing he can keep on doing is to carry on asking her to stop. What do you think? Do you trust him enough to think that he did try and that now he just has to try again? 

[Xany]

Hey , I have had similar experiences . The way the girl addresses your partner is because he has let her . If he has told her to stop and she continued , he probably said " my partner does not like how you address me" , making the girl feel that he doesn't have a problem and it's only you who is bothered. And there is nothing irrational about what you wanting to end the relationship , just try to communicate with him again about this , or tell him to block her

[Monsoon]

On 7/15/2021 at 10:13 PM, Xany said:

Hey , I have had similar experiences . The way the girl addresses your partner is because he has let her . If he has told her to stop and she continued , he probably said " my partner does not like how you address me" , making the girl feel that he doesn't have a problem and it's only you who is bothered. And there is nothing irrational about what you wanting to end the relationship , just try to communicate with him again about this , or tell him to block her

Hey, 

Thanks for sharing your experiences

I think that it's hard to say what has happened exactly, and I think It might just be that more needs to be done to handle the situation. What do you think?