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I am christian and bisexual, should I come out?


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Hi, guys. I am christian and I still want to be one. I've read books and informed myself and found out it's not impossible to be christian and lgbtq!yay! but I'm from a very conservative church community so I do not expect any support from them but I also don't like feeling like I'm hiding such a big part of my life. I've told my mom and my sister and a few friends. I'm honestly tired of coming out and wish people would just know if and when I get a boyfriend. But it feels weird to see people in church and feel like I'm hiding something from them. What do you think?

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @gabe123

Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to those who reach out to us. You're absolutely right - you can be both Christian and LGBTQ+ 🙂

I'm curious to know, how did it go telling your mom, sister, and friends? I completely get what you're saying about feeling like you're hiding something from people at church. I'm wondering, do you feel ready to tell other people? It's totally okay to wait if you don't. Speak soon. 

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Thank you Monsoon. It was okay telling them. My family wasn't super happy about it because of their religious beliefs but they didn't make me feel ashamed or rejected. My friends were very supportive and made me feel very comfortable. 

I feel ready to tell people in the sense that I want everybody to know. I feel like it's my role to advocate, especially when I See other LGBTQ youth suffer around the world. But I feel like I don't have the mental bandwidth to deal with all the rejection. After reading a few books and memoirs I came to terms that it is possible to be christian and lgbtq but I know that my church won't be at that point any time soon, so out of a sudden to have my right to be a christian removed as well as leaving behind so many people and rituals I grow up with would be very hard. 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @gabe123

I'm glad to hear that it was okay telling them. I hope that your parents can be happier about it over time. To be honest, I find that most parents usually come around to it fully as time goes on, so try to stay hopeful. I completely get what you are saying about feeling like you don't have the mental bandwidth to deal with the rejection. I'm wondering, do you think there's a chance that the people at your church might respond in the same way as your family? Could they avoid making you feel ashamed and rejected despite their religious beliefs? 

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