BennyBoy14 Posted June 24, 2021 Share Posted June 24, 2021 Hello there, to anyone who is reading this, I would appreciate if you guys could help me with a problem I'm currently facing. I have a group of friends that I always talk to back in 2016 up until 2019. We usually talk online about various stuff and play games together. But for me, the more I think about it, the more I am doubting myself whether or not they are true friends or toxic ones. Everytime I am in the call with them, I will always be the subject of being made fun of. Now I know that this is normal in some friendships but where do you draw the line? To what extent is this considered unacceptable? A few points of interest would be the following : - Everytime I share some good news, in the end of the conversation, I always feel bad about myself. Sure they say congratulations and such, but is that truly enough? - I'm thinking of distancing myself from them on social media like hiding stories, restricting their presence on my feed etc. should I do this or should I just go on and block them and get on with life? I hate that I still have hope that I am wrong and they are still good friends but ended up still hurting moving forward. - Is it normal to feel like you don't want to give up on them and separate yourself from them but you know you have to? - Since I am having these thoughts about my friends in the first place, does it prove my point that they are toxic friends and I should throw their friendship away? - Other advices or thoughts are very much appreciated. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted June 24, 2021 Share Posted June 24, 2021 Hello @Drago14 Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to those who reach out to us. Thank you for telling me about the doubts you're having at the moment. I think that it's always wise to take a step back and think about the situation properly before making any decisions, so it's good that you're doing that. I think it's interesting that you're having these thoughts in the first place, and it's important to listen to them. I get what you mean about being made fun of in friendships; the thing is, everyone has different tolerance levels, and I guess that if you feel like they are crossing the line, then that's your normal if that makes sense? It could be a good idea to talk to them separately about this if it is upsetting you; it's always better to do it separately rather than in the group as people get defensive in front of others. Is there anything else that makes you think they are toxic? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BennyBoy14 Posted June 25, 2021 Author Share Posted June 25, 2021 Hello ! thank you for the advice Well, just that I feel like they make me feel inferior and not good enough. That's why I think I want to move on. I want to regain my confidence and positivity. I think I made up my mind to separate myself from them. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted June 25, 2021 Share Posted June 25, 2021 Hey @BennyBoy14 Ah, okay. When you say they make you feel inferior, what kind of things do they do to leave you feeling that way? If you're sure that you're doing the right thing for your wellbeing, then that's the best you can do. Do you think you were more confident and positive without them? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BennyBoy14 Posted June 25, 2021 Author Share Posted June 25, 2021 They make me feel like it's not my efforts that has gotten me to where I am, but luck. Even when I am sharing good news like a grant, a big project, job opportunity, bonuses etc, they will say either it is luck or it is relatively easy enough to achieve that basically everyone can get it, which in turn destroys my initial intent on sharing the good news with them because I felt hurt by those words. Well, in the past I did try to take a little break from the group, I did end up happier and not thinking about things other than myself but because they were my friends, and I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, I still came back.......now however, I feel like I want a permanent change. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted June 26, 2021 Share Posted June 26, 2021 Hey @BennyBoy14 Ah, okay, yeah, I can see how the way they treat you leaves you feeling hurt; I completely get it. I think that you have to do what's right for you, and I think you know what the solution is already. We must always do what is the best for us. If something isn't working, then we need to look after our own wellbeing and sometimes move away from something which can be upsetting. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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