i need help with my sexuality, very confused.

[skunkglass]

TW: mentions of r*pe trauma

i am a cisgender female and i have previously identified and bi and pansexual, but i'm confused again.

i have r*pe trauma which causes me to be disgusted by thinking about sex with a male/masculinity. i am currently in a heterosexual relationship, with my partner identifying as bisexual. he is very understanding about my traumas, but we no longer have sex because of them. i am able to masturbate, usually thinking about women/femininity. i seem to have a preference for femininity, but i believe it is due to my assault trauma. i am attracted to all genders and in-between. i do not have sexual urges very frequently, they are actually quite rare. if anyone needs more info, i am more than willing to answer questions. any advice is going to be helpful.

[skunkglass]

i should add that i have recently learned about and considered pomosexuality, but i am not sure of anything anymore. i already struggle with identity issues due to mental illness.

[Monsoon]

Hello @skunkglass

Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give support to those who reach out to us.

I just want to say thank you for opening up about your experiences to us. I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you; I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you, but I just want you to know that we are here for you. I am glad to hear that your partner is very understanding about the trauma that you've experienced. Before I give you more support, I just want to check and see if you are safe or not? I hope that the person who inflicted this trauma on you has been dealt with by the police. Once I know you're safe, I can then talk to you more about the confusion you're experiencing. 

I hope to hear back from you soon.