my mother is drunk and crying and yelling and i'm might be homeless

[Atreus]

ok so i wasn't too sure where to put this so i decided it was gonna be a rant cuz y not but this has been happening all night, it kinda started when like we were all going to bed and my mother and her boyfriend were arguing about my mother supposedly getting onto his facebook and messaging people (and yes the allegations r true she did get on there and i watched her but she said she can do it cuz she's he's girlfriend and he doesn't want her on there cuz he's a "cheating hoe") and like she kept saying she didn't and he's making up shit and then my mother stormed out the bedroom ig and he said something like "ur wrong dumbass, don't come in here fuck face" like kicking her out of the room and shit and this kinda normal i thought she was just gonna sleep on the couch and this'll be done oh and btw she was drinking this whole time and he was completely sober but that's not how the night ended ummm she like was chill at first then she went outside and started yelling yelling him to "eat shit and die" and also breaking stuff out there but i figured out later she was on the phone with someone i'm not sure who but wutever (also my sister has a friend over and my mothers boyfriends son who didn't no how bad there relationship was was also here and probs heard the whole thing) she ended up finally coming inside and like got quiet then started screaming again and was getting very loud it was like 3:30am at this point she was still on the phone then she started crying and like i thought she was goin over an old conversation between her and her boyfriend or something cuz it was literally her begging him if she can move into this house for a couple months during the summer and i just realized i provided no context- my family moved into this dudes house to help him pay for it and also hopefully save money for a new house but we like just got here in april- i thought things were fine but ig not anyway he keeps sayin we have to move out by the end of the month and my mother keeps saying no we not movin out and he sayin we have to move out even if it means we go to a shelter- as in a homeless shelter like dude don't bring me into this just cuz my mother is wack like cmon i do the dishes anyway- my mother begging over the phone and crying and she's not even talking to her boyfriend she sayin shit like "can we please stay" and "i have no friends or family" as in like no one to go to to like live with ig anyway she's balling her eyes out and imma be honest i got kinda annoyed, i had a headache and it was almost 4 in the morning i didn't wanna listen to this all fucking night so i went out of my room and just told her to keep it down which u probs shouldn't say to a crying drunk person but i was just tired and she was all like "ok go back to bed" so i left and she went straight bac to crying i swear the whole house could here it maybe even the neighbors tho the houses were very spread apart anyway she starts screaming for my sister and if everyone with in a 50 mile radius wasn't awake already they were now, my sister was sleeping in her room with her pal this wasn't great i thought i could go out of my room and shut her up maybe she'd talk to me instead idk but no i was like "wut do u want?" and she was like "get ur sister" and then my sister finally got out of her room and couldn't see nothin cuz she didn't have her contacts and my mother was screaming at her to take the phone and then she did and idk who she was talking to but then my sister was explaining how my mother was drunk and shit to the person on the phone may have been my dad i'm not sure but after that we went bac to bed and now it's 4:16 and my mother had officially stopped crying i'm glad my brother wasn't here to hear this anyway- the main issue for me is the possibility of being homeless, yes my mothers boyfriend is a complete asshole and deserves death but my mother ain't much nicer, she only stoops to his level when she's drunk and wow she's once again calling someone i can hear it thru the wall anyway- we can not afford to live anywhere else we are broke and spent a lot of money on our rooms and shit in this house cuz we thought we'd live here a bit longer and also even if we had the money we couldn't really go anywhere cuz my mother has an eviction on her record so no ones really wanting to give her a house and also we have pets we r not willing to give up idk it's all crazy but she's taking the eviction thing to court cuz it was like unfair or something uuummm but i hope i'm not homeless cuz i kinda like having a house and i might be 16 but i have no job and can't drive, have no car or like plans to make money or anything cuz i can't work with ppl at all my anxiety kinda wacky we couldn't even afford to buy me new glasses one time so i was just chillin with the wrong prescription broken glasses idk but i feel like if my mum stopped drinking a lot of our problems would go away like less fighting and less crying i just wanna sleep and not have to worry bout if i'll have a house by the end of the month anyway this has really helped thanks for reading goodbye

Edited September 25, 2021 by Daisie

[Monsoon]

Hello @Atreus,

Thank you for sharing your story with us here at community. I'm sorry to hear about how things are at home at the moment and the worry about being homeless as well. I'm pleased that you have opened up to us because by speaking out about what's going on, we are then able to get support to make things better, so I just want you to know that we are here for you. Before I give you more support, I just want to check, are you safe at home at the moment? From the way you described it just now, home sounds like it can be quite a difficult environment, and I'm just wondering if there might be some danger there? If there is, we can help you to make sure that things get better. You are not alone. 

I hope to hear back from you soon. Take care. 

[Atreus]

hi thanks for r concern but it's chill my mother should be goin to bed now and even tho she kinda get mad violent when she's drunk she has not hit me yet and if she do i'll hit her bac it's fine she'd forgive me i'm sure (no i'm not saying like actually hit her or nothin she's twice my weight i'm only 95 pounds so don't be thinkin i would do any damage-) but yes it's fine just can't sleep rn this shouldn't happen too much more cuz she probs broke and hopefully can't afford more wine- but again everything is fine and safe and we shall pretend it didn't happen in the morning

[Monsoon]

Hello @Atreus

Thank you for getting back to me so quickly. I'm glad to hear that it's chill and I want you to know that if you ever do feel unsafe or just need someone to talk to, we are here for you. You are not alone. I wonder, does your mom have any support at the moment? Like, is she accessing any kind of therapy or help from social workers perhaps? It sounds like she could benefit from those kinds of things right now.

I'm just aware that this must be quite hard on you and I'm wondering, how are you feeling about all of this? It can be so difficult to keep your head above water when your home life is stressful like this, but I'm glad that you're opening up about it as this will help you to get the support you might need. I hope to hear back from you soon. Take care. 

 

[Atreus]

well my mother is not in any therapy anymore i don't think she has been for a while but she does take a lot of medicine for stuff like mental health and physical health shit but tho i wasn't feeling bad for my mother at that time and only really saw her as being annoyin- one day when she was drunk she was like crying a lot and i was in the morning and i just was talking with her and stuff then her boyfriend came in and they started arguing and then her called her fat ugly and lazy- and dude i was so surprised anyone had the fucking audacity to say that to my mother and i can't believe he fucking got away with it like my mother has never attacked him for his appearance at all even tho she was very drunk and i can't believe he said that cuz he weighs more than her, and ik beauty is in the eye of the beholder or wutever but he don't look to good ngl ik i'm also stooping to the level of attacking someone's appearance but cmon- my mother is taking diet medication and has a diet doctor and is eating healthy so he can stfu i don't eat healthy worth a shit i actually just finished a whole thing of chocolate icecream by myself in one sitting and only reason i still weigh less than 100 pounds is cuz my speedy fast metabolism anyway- my mother is also not lazy she does stuff all the time and for the longest time we didn't even have chores to do cuz my mother did them all so ik lowkey spoiled anyway- my mother ain't ugly either but now she's feeling really bad bout how she looks and she has like half a meal a day unless she drinks but like- also did i mention her boyfriend IS A PSYCHOLOGIST and he literally specializes in addiction- wether my mother is an alcoholic at this point or not he needs to stfu like atleast be a little understanding?? like the man is old so he was study psychology when dinosaurs roamed the earth so ig his knowledge a little outdated but still someone gotta get this man- also the reason him and his wife divorced was cuz he and i quote "smashed her head into a wall" and i betcha their son dont no bout it, also my mother has pictures of like defensive wounds ig she got from her boyfriend but like she's also beat his ass before so idk if she can really do anything bout it- they r just not at all good for each other but no she really doesn't have much support ig? besides that one time i listen to her also her boyfriend is also kinda rude to me ngl he's called me an asshole and a bitch and once told me to go to my room cuz he was losing an argument with me- ik u can't exactly trust my word on that cuz i'm a biased source but he was saying my argument made no sense and i was tryna explain how it did make sense and he was like "you know wut? go to ur room" like bro- uuuuhhhh but yuh we can't even talk bout our drunk mum to our drunk mum cuz she's always like "i don't wanna talk about it" so- also everytime they argue she's always like "you see why i drink? he's completely sober" her boyfriend gots problems o and i don't think we can afford therapy the one time i went it was like $50 a session like wut- also idk if our insurance covers that it barely covers glasses and also my mum spending money on a lawyer for the eviction thing so idk and ik not sure how social workers work but i'll ask- o and i'm feeling like ok bout this ig? just that one time i was particularly stressed ig cuz again- 4 in the morning and there were ppl at the house that weren't aware of the situation so-

[Monsoon]

Hello @Atreus

How are you doing today? Thank you for explaining more of your situation to me. It really helps me to get a clearer picture of what's going on for you. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling okay about this. If it ever does get too much to deal with, is there anything you can do to manage your stress around it? Like, what kind of things do you enjoy doing? You might find this support guide useful: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/101-ultimate-ways-chill-reduce-stress/

You can also speak to us if you're feeling overwhelmed by it all - we are always here for you. 

I'm pleased to hear that your mom is getting some kind of help from the doctor. As you say, it does sound like the relationship between your mom and her boyfriend can be quite difficult at times. Have you told her how you feel about their relationship? 

By the way, if you like, we can try to help you find some support in your area. This could be some kind of emotional support for your mom maybe, that kind of thing. Let me know what you think and we can then go from there.