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Hello, my name is Nazeem, I'm 15 and I think that I'm bisexual and I want to come out to my parents but they are kinda strick and I'm scared. My parents had a talk with me some time ago, maybe last year, and my dad asked me if I have any feelings for boys and I told him no even though i do because i was scared. My mom said that she doesn't really like to see people liking the same sex as them, and that made me even more scared. I don't know what to do and I think it's time that i tell them, could i get a little advise or help please?🤧

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey Nazeem,

Welcome to our community. It's great to have you here :). I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. 

I'm sorry to hear that your parents are kind of strict and that your mom said she doesn't really like to see people liking the same sex as them. I completely get your fear - this is a totally normal response to have to such a situation, and I just want you to know that we are here for you. Sadly, for some people, their parents can react badly at first which can be quite tough. However, I've supported plenty of people in your kind of situation and I just want you to know that from my experience, most parents come around to the idea eventually :). It can just take some time, meaning that you have to be really patient with them which can be tricky. But I just wanted to reassure you that plenty of parents become more accepting, and they do this our of pure love for their child. What do you think? You might find our support guide helpful btw: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/my-parents-didnt-react-well-to-me-coming-out/

With actually coming out, can I ask, are you ready? If you aren't, just remember that it's totally okay to wait. There's no rush and you can take your time.

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2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey Nazeem,

Welcome to our community. It's great to have you here :). I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. 

I'm sorry to hear that your parents are kind of strict and that your mom said she doesn't really like to see people liking the same sex as them. I completely get your fear - this is a totally normal response to have to such a situation, and I just want you to know that we are here for you. Sadly, for some people, their parents can react badly at first which can be quite tough. However, I've supported plenty of people in your kind of situation and I just want you to know that from my experience, most parents come around to the idea eventually :). It can just take some time, meaning that you have to be really patient with them which can be tricky. But I just wanted to reassure you that plenty of parents become more accepting, and they do this our of pure love for their child. What do you think? You might find our support guide helpful btw: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/my-parents-didnt-react-well-to-me-coming-out/

With actually coming out, can I ask, are you ready? If you aren't, just remember that it's totally okay to wait. There's no rush and you can take your time.

Thank you so much. 

About coming out, as it's pride month, I was maybe thinking on telling them, but at the same time I kinda don't if you know what I mean, but if I can have some advise on how I could tell them or just by having a normal conversation with them and how to slip in the I'm bisexual part? Idk, can you help on how I can tell them? I'll really appreciate it..

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

If you think it's safe to come out, then I would encourage it if you feel ready. If coming out could put you in danger, like getting kicked out, then it's best to wait until you can support yourself, or make sure you have somewhere else to stay while things settle down. What do you think?

Hmm, with actually coming out to them, I wonder, could you pretend that I'm your mom and you're coming out to me? If so, what would you say to me? 

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Okay, You are my mom.

Mom, I want to have a talk with you and Dad. I don't know how to say this in a easy way but.... I think that I am bisexual, before you comment, reasons why I think that I'm bisexual. I've been talking to this boy lately and he's bisexual, and I really like him, I like him as in I want to be his boyfriend. I also used to like this girl but she has a boyfriend so we decided to just be friends. I know this may be a shock but please accept me for who I am, at the end of the day I'm still human and I am the child that you gave birth to, I don't want you to tell anyone yet, they can maybe figure it out on their own or you can tell them in the right timing. As I said, i hope that you accept me for who i am, I'm still your son and I still have alot of love for you guys.

 

How was that?🤷🏽‍♂️

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Nazeem

That was really good - what do you think?

I'm wondering, with coming out, might it be better to wait until you're 100% sure? It's okay if you're not, but it can make it easier in the sense that if you tell tell them and you're not absolutely certain, then they might react with 'It's just a phase'. What do you reckon?

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