Questioning my sexuality

[bstice]

So when I was 12, I came out as bisexual. It seemed so right and I’ve felt the same about dating either gender, but when it comes to being sexual intimacy I feel super intimidated by being sexual with another female. When I came out to all my family when I was 16, I was disappointed and slightly surprised at the negative reaction from some people. Since then, I haven’t dated another female despite how comfortable I am with dating them and I feel like I’m pretending to be bi because most of my family only knows about one female I dated (the one I was with at 16) so they believe it was a joke. I’ve kind of let that get to me and just stuck to dating only males and being intimate with them. My boyfriend of almost a year now is super supportive of my sexuality and encourages me to explore that part since I never got a chance to explore it in my earlier years. I’m just so confused if I’m still bi or if my sexuality has changed but I have no idea where to start with figuring it out. I know I still have plenty of time to figure it out since I’m almost 23 now,  but it’s been bothering me for a while. I would really appreciate any help, even the smallest bit of help would help out a lot.

[That_Bangtan_Bi_Girl]

I've been through the same thing. I love the idea of being with another girl, but when it comes to getting sexual, I get nervous and freak out. I think its mainly from how I was raised. The seed of lgbtqa+ being weird or bad being planted in my mind from such a young age.... its still there, just towards the back of my mind. I don't think you would be Bisexual just for attention if you do like girls in a romantic way. And I love that your boyfriend is supportive of you exploring. He sounds so sweet! But yeah, just be patient with yourself. It takes time, especially when some of your family isn't supportive. Its like their negative words are just watering that seed. Just focus on yourself. Remember, that even if you discover that your not bi, its fine. No one will judge you for being brave enough to go through this. 

Good Luck!!!

[Monsoon]

11 hours ago, bstice said:

So when I was 12, I came out as bisexual. It seemed so right and I’ve felt the same about dating either gender, but when it comes to being sexual intimacy I feel super intimidated by being sexual with another female. When I came out to all my family when I was 16, I was disappointed and slightly surprised at the negative reaction from some people. Since then, I haven’t dated another female despite how comfortable I am with dating them and I feel like I’m pretending to be bi because most of my family only knows about one female I dated (the one I was with at 16) so they believe it was a joke. I’ve kind of let that get to me and just stuck to dating only males and being intimate with them. My boyfriend of almost a year now is super supportive of my sexuality and encourages me to explore that part since I never got a chance to explore it in my earlier years. I’m just so confused if I’m still bi or if my sexuality has changed but I have no idea where to start with figuring it out. I know I still have plenty of time to figure it out since I’m almost 23 now,  but it’s been bothering me for a while. I would really appreciate any help, even the smallest bit of help would help out a lot.

Heyy @bstice

Welcome to our community :). I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to people who reach out to us. 

Thanks for telling me about your situation. So, you're feeling intimidated to be sexually intimate with girls atm, but can I ask, do you actually want to try it? I think the fact that you're comfortable with dating another female shows to me that you're still bisexual, but it might just be that you need to have more experience to be sure. What do you reckon? Also, I'm glad to hear that your bf is super supportive - what a great guy! 

[bstice]

8 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Heyy @bstice

Welcome to our community :). I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to people who reach out to us. 

Thanks for telling me about your situation. So, you're feeling intimidated to be sexually intimate with girls atm, but can I ask, do you actually want to try it? I think the fact that you're comfortable with dating another female shows to me that you're still bisexual, but it might just be that you need to have more experience to be sure. What do you reckon? Also, I'm glad to hear that your bf is super supportive - what a great guy! 

I want to try it, it’s just that I’m nervous I won’t be that good at it and I haven’t found a female that I’d be comfortable enough with to try it out yet...

[Monsoon]

Hey,

Ah, thanks for explaining that to me. Those nerves are totally normal. I get why you feel that way, and even when you find the right person to try it out with, you might still feel nervous at that point. Have you had a think about how you might find someone to experiment with yet? 

[bstice]

I’ve tried a couple of dating sites but the only people that had hit me up were couples looking for a third even though I stated I’m already in a relationship or swingers, which I’m really not into that. I’m not sure where else to look and I don’t have many female friends that might be up to experimenting with me.

[Monsoon]

Heyyyy

Ah, that's annoying that you haven't found anyone yet on dating sites. I'm wondering, could you potentially meet other people on nights out, like going to gay bars, etc? You might find it easier to meet someone there - the alcohol usually helps too!