Unable to start relationships

[C90]

Hi 

 

I find starting relationships very difficult and have been unable to my whole life

 

As a teen I really struggled I had no friends. Wben many were getting relationships learning the way of life my friend was just my games console. When I throught I had a friend he made me do things ofcouese I agree and went on with it as to me it was normal but now I know it was very toxic and damaging. I throught what he did was normal and it did really confuse me. 

 

Wben I got to my late teens brother died unexpectedly just happen one night he fell asleep next morning being taken away by ambulance on life support. I got involved in two local groups who kept telling me i was a homo and used to beat me and terrorise me but I stayed as I wanted people my own age. 

 

I got attacked sexualy over the park. Forced to do things which I did not fell comfortable  by one when I was about 20 and it put me in a situation where I could not snake as I get more issues and could family at danger so I moved our if area far far away.

 

Now I'm 30 and still have not figured it out people like get in and out of relationships but I cant even get in.

 

Yeah I want what most normal people have a good relationship to start a family but I just get rejected or not noticed 

 

I was diganosed austic last year so it answers a lot of questions 

[Monsoon]

Hi @C90,

Welcome to our community. I'm sorry to hear about everything you've been through - it sounds like you've really come face-to-face with some very challenging situations, but I'm glad that you're asking for support as this will help you to get through all of this. We are here for you. I just want to let you know that I've sent you an email instead of replying here. If you can't see it, please check your junk box. 

Take care and speak soon.