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I'm a devout Catholic but also a closet bisexual


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I am a very religious person. And, as a lot of you probably know, homosexuality is against our beliefs. I have nothing against other gays, but I differ with them on a lot of opinions and beliefs. However, I feel bad because I'm a devout Catholic but a closet bisexual. I feel like I don't belong anywhere because homosexuality is against our beliefs and a lot of people from the LGBTQ+ don't like Catholics. I feel like other gays would not like me because I am both a Catholic and a bisexual person. My parents, who are also devout Catholics and are strongly against gays, told me that even if there were a chance that I were lesbian or bisexual, they would still love me as I am, but I'm still afraid to come out to them. Any words of wisdom?

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey@dewberry and stars

Welcome to our community :). I'm one of the digital mentors at DTL and I'm here to give advice and support to those who reach out to us.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I completely get what you mean about not feeling like you belong anywhere. There are definitely other devout Catholics out there who are LGBTQ+ plus, and you may be able to find some here! We have had a few people here who have talked about being religious and LGBTQ+. Have you looked for any support groups for people who are both religious and identify as gay? I could help you search if you like.

Also, with coming out, just remember that if you don't feel ready, then it's totally okay. This is your journey and you get to decide how it goes. It's good that they will love you as you are. Can I ask, what makes you scared? Do you think they might react badly? 

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Actually, my parents told me that if I ever turn out to be gay / bi, they'd still love me, no changes or anything. I just feel like I'm betraying my religion and that it's offensive to the LGBT+ community, because I am against same - sex marriage (catholic views) and am bisexual. I recently came out to my friends and they were supportive of me but something changed in our relationship and I couldn't put my finger on it. I then asked them how they felt about me being a devout Catholic and a bisexual person, and they all said that it was hypocritical and offensive (they are also part of the community). So, I've been thinking of just pushing everything down, keeping everything to myself, and just identify as straight, like everyone probably wants me to  be. I find my happiness in my religion, so it's kinda ok with me. It's just, I've been a bad place lately and nothing is making it better. Sorry for the late reply, by the way. And thanks for replying to me!

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey@dewberry and stars

I get that it must be difficult trying to follow your religion and being LGBTQ+. It's really important to live our life authentically. When we try to push things down like our sexuality, it can really impact our mental health and cause a lot of stress and anxiety. What do you think? Also, I'm sorry to hear that you've been in a bad place lately. What do you think has made you feel this way? If you like, I can give you some tips for your mental health? Just say the word. We are here for you. What have you tried already?

 

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I haven't really been doing anythin\ng to help myself lately. I just thought that I was overthinking and that it'd pass by after some time. It's also ok for me to push my sexuality down and hide it, if that's what being a Catholic is supposed to do. I value my religion way more than anything else in the world, but I do know that not everyone thinks this way. I want to thank you for replying to me and trying to help me get better. I'm 14 and I wouldn't say that I'm mature, but I have faced a lot of things so I'd say that I can handle things pretty well. I'd actually appreciate some tips for coping? If that's ok.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hi @dewberry and stars These 2 guides are a good start: this will help you to improve your mental health https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-to-look-after-mental-health/ and this one helps you to keep track of how you're feeling: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/9-practical-things-can-keep-track-mental-health/ I'd really like to reassure you that it's about feeling better and accepting yourself for who you are rather than trying to change you. It's great to hear that your parents are accepting and it sounds like they might be able to help you to navigate how you feel this aligns with your faith / your particular church and beliefs as I wonder if they would have mentioned concerns when saying nothing would change. Do you think you could have a conversation with them over this?   

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3 hours ago, Blondie said:

Hi @dewberry and stars These 2 guides are a good start: this will help you to improve your mental health https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-to-look-after-mental-health/ and this one helps you to keep track of how you're feeling: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/9-practical-things-can-keep-track-mental-health/ I'd really like to reassure you that it's about feeling better and accepting yourself for who you are rather than trying to change you. It's great to hear that your parents are accepting and it sounds like they might be able to help you to navigate how you feel this aligns with your faith / your particular church and beliefs as I wonder if they would have mentioned concerns when saying nothing would change. Do you think you could have a conversation with them over this?   

thanks for the guides and advice, miss! I'll be sure to try them. ^^

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