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Genderqueer? Pronouns? Gender? ah!


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Hello, it's me back for another gender crisis dump!


I've posted a few times on here about gender and sexuality and pronouns. I've been exploring my gender a lot recently. I've been wearing what I feel like wearing, whether its more fem or masc or confuse-the-cis-people, and it's been feeling good! I used to wear clothes that showed that I have breasts because I think I was scared to wear baggy clothes, I felt like I had to prove i was my gender. I don't know how to explain it, I don't know if that makes any sense.


Anywho, last week I shaved all my hair off and I bought a binder. Two things that I've been incredibly scared to do. They've both helped my gender wise, they've both been very fun too. I have a whole new aesthetic to play around with now. The binder has really helped too. Some days I feel a lot more masculine, some days I just want to be flat chested, some days I feel like a woman, some days I'm just a blob, haha. Pronouns are tricky. I feel comfortable using any pronouns, she/her, they/them, he/him, they're all good. Some days I feel more comfortable with certain ones though.


I haven't been looking to label myself or categorise myself because I don't want to box myself in or confuse myself. But I found the term 'genderqueer' and felt like it fit with me. I'm not entirely sure what the difference is between genderfluid and genderqueer though, so if someone could describe each to me that'd be great because I haven't quite understood definitions on the internet.


I know I don't need to work my gender out right now, I have my whole life to discover myself and experiment. It's scary, but I am having fun.

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It's lovely to hear from you again :). I'm glad to hear that you're exploring your gender and that you've been feeling good doing that. It's also good that you've been doing things that you've been scared to do, like buying the binder and sharing your hair off.


So, the difference is hard to explain, but my understanding is that genderqueer means that your gender doesn't fit within those societally constructed norms, like either male or female. Also, gender fluid means that your 'label' isn't fixed and can change at any time, and this can be as frequently as day on day. Sorry if this doesn't make it any clearer.


What do you think about this?


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Hi @Monsoon


It's nice to hear from you too! I love this community and organisation so much. I hope you're doing well.


Yes, that helps a lot! I guess they are very very similar. I'm going to genderqueer for now for my gender does seem pretty fluid and changes a lot. It's tricky to pinpoint which I feel most comfortable with but there's no rush. I've bought a genderqueer flag too which is cool. Maybe I'll end up more on the genderfluid side of things, but either or! Thanks :)


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Hey @Marv


I really like your attitude to your gender. You're just going with the flow and letting it all happen naturally which is probably the best way to be :)


Keep in touch and let us know how you get on - we are always here!


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