jelly Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 There was this guy that always did "dark humor" or whatever you call it and he thought it was so funny saying/sharing offensive things, and his friends would laugh at them even though I would just find them rude remarks. So once me, my friend, and a mutual friend of his and mine took a picture together and i felt actually good about it so we posted it online but next day in class the guy says this snide comment about our appearance, saying out of the three of us (me and my friend are girls, the mutual friend is a guy) the mutual friend had the "largest chest," and he just said it so offhandedly as if it was not offensive at all, in the presence of my friend too (because she was sitting at their table). I've never been too self-conscious about that part of my body because it's so trivial, but I just thought, wow, you could've gone your whole life not saying that, but you said that. Anyway, even though it didn't affect me that much, it's obviously something I still remember to this day. Also because my friend (who told me what he said), who heard it firsthand who was sitting right there when he said it, was affected by it and I just feel bad that she had to be in that situation. When she told me she also said that she felt embarrassed/angry and didn't know what to do or say back. I wouldn't know what to have done either, like what, am I supposed to laugh like the other people who were sitting at that table? Why would I laugh at something that some guy is literally making fun of my body and my friend's? What sucks is that that guy still hasn't changed, he's still inconsiderate, says offensive things to be funny, and still thinks he's funny because the people around him hype him up like that, because I guess he thinks making fun of womens' bodies is so funny. Also, for some maybe-closure to this rant, at the time we were applying for schools and the picture the three of us took is a picture posing with our acceptance. That's why we felt good about posting it, because we were very proud of our achievement. The thing is he wanted to go to this school too but he got waitlisted, and at the time when I got in I felt undeserved of my acceptance because I thought that he deserved the position more than I did. Well now thinking back at all the offensive things he said to me and my friends, I'm glad I got in and not him. Maybe he said what he said because he was upset he didn't get a position, but still. I don't want to let his words get to me because I don't want to let someone like him "win" but I just am reminded that some people look at women like that and criticize us without thinking how much it affects us and how much these comments linger in our heads. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted January 24, 2021 Share Posted January 24, 2021 Hey @knickerbocker716 I'm sorry to hear that you've had to experience this guy saying rude and offensive things just to be funny. Although we try to not take any notice of people making these kinds of comments, they can still hurt us, even if they are just a joke, especially when you're a bit more on the sensitive side. I'm wondering, have you ever spoken to him about how his comments make you feel? If you did, how did it go? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelly Posted January 30, 2021 Author Share Posted January 30, 2021 Hi @Monsoon , thanks for the reply. I've never talked to him about it, my friend hasn't either. Maybe it is because he always says things like that so it's just one of the many things he's said. I do not talk to him anymore because I have no reason to and I don't want to associate myself with people that make me feel uncomfortable or uneasy. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 Hey @knickerbocker716 It sounds like you've done the right thing for yourself by not talking to him anymore. Some people can take that kind of behaviour, and some just find it too much, and that's okay. How are things for you at the moment? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beatrice Posted February 9, 2021 Share Posted February 9, 2021 I can tell you one thing: people who try to distinguish at the expense of insulting others, nothing else to stand out and cannot. You yourself say that you entered a school that this rude man could not enter. That is, you already have an advantage over him. Such people will always be in your life and the choice is yours, what to do with it - worry and get upset, or ignore these statements and strive for your own goal. Don't waste your time and energy on people who don't deserve it - that's all, this is a simple recipe for your personal peace of mind. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelly Posted March 4, 2021 Author Share Posted March 4, 2021 @Beatrice That's really good advice, thanks MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 7, 2021 Share Posted March 7, 2021 Hey @knickerbocker716 How are things at the moment? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beatrice Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 @knickerbocker716 I am very glad that my thoughts were useful to you. I am very happy to help a person who needs help in solving a difficult situation. Toxic people are definitely not what we need in our daily life. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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