Garrus_5 Posted December 8, 2020 Share Posted December 8, 2020 Since I was young I always thought that I was straight and even thought that as early as a month ago but seemingly out of nowhere I started questioning that. I have only ever dated one person and they were of the opposite sex and we dated for just over 2 years and I broke up with her just before the Covid outbreak because throughout the relationship I wasn't attracted to her and I think the only reason I said yes to a date is because she asked me out and my anxiety made me say yes. Well recently I have been having very strong feelings that I'm not straight but I know that I'm definitely not gay and likely not bi as I have next to no sexual attraction to men apart from the odd joke with friends but I do feel sexually attracted women for the most part which makes me believe that I'm not Asexual. I have been losing sleep over the fact that I don't know who or what I am and I am scared that there is no label that I belong to and how to best describe who and what I am to family members who may not understand that I don't feel straight, gay or Bisexual MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 8, 2020 Share Posted December 8, 2020 Hey @Garrus_5 Welcome to our online support community. My name is Monsoon and i'm one of the digital support mentors here. Thank you for sharing your story with us - we are here to support you through this I'm curious to know, when you are having these strong feelings about not being straight, what kind of things are you thinking about? Just to reassure you, plenty of people question their sexuality at some point and this can be pretty scary and nerve-wracking. The thing is, this process means that we have to be patient which isn't ideal when you're worried about your identity and labels. However, trust me when I say it will get better over time - you just need to trust the process. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrus_5 Posted December 8, 2020 Author Share Posted December 8, 2020 Hi. these strong feelings came from almost nowhere and it seems almost daily at this point that I'm constantly feeling them. some of the things I am thinking about are what to say to certain family members and friends who may not understand my feelings as I don't even know how to explain that I don't feel Straight, Gay or Bi myself, how they may react as some of them have a history of not being very accepting or understanding, where these feelings came from and why now and not when I was younger just as a few examples of everything circling my mind. I definitely trust the process of finding myself and who I truly am as I know there are people who have been searching for years and are still not 100% confident whereas it has been less than a month for me. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 Hey @Garrus_5 Yeah, when you think about it, having these thoughts for less than a month isn't a long time at all. As you said, some people have been searching for years, and this kind of thing really does just take time. For some people, when they come out to family and friends, they may not be very understanding. This kind of news can come as quite a shock to them and it might take some time for them to process, but just know that for many people, their family and friends end up coming round to it. Here is a support guide with more info on this: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/my-par...me-coming-out/ - I know the article is about parents' reactions, but the advice applies. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrus_5 Posted December 9, 2020 Author Share Posted December 9, 2020 Thanks for the support guide. After giving it a read I think it may be best for me to not come out until I’m 100% sure on my sexuality or Label as I am really conflicted on who exactly I am and how I feel. The kind of feelings I have been getting after researching different Labels and sexuality the only thing that is close to how I’m feeling is Asexuality but even that isn’t how I’m currently feeling. Is just no sexuality at all even a thing? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 (edited) Hey@Garrus_5 So, with the asexuality label, in what way is it close to how you are feeling? The label itself does include people who experience no attraction whatsoever. Also, some people choose not to use a label and find it freeing. What do you think? Edited December 13, 2020 by Monsoon MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrus_5 Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 It's hard to explain my feelings but I feel like I don't have any attraction to people except for extremely rare occasions where I will feel attracted to someone for about a minute before I completely lose the attraction again and feel sick or angry at myself for feeling attracted to someone MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 13, 2020 Share Posted December 13, 2020 Hey @Garrus_5 Thanks for explaining that for me. It's interesting that you feel sick and angry for feeling attracted to someone. Why do you think that is? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrus_5 Posted December 13, 2020 Author Share Posted December 13, 2020 I don’t know why exactly because nothing changed in my life to make me feel this way. It’s almost came out of nowhere and they have got much stronger over the last couple of days MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 14, 2020 Share Posted December 14, 2020 (edited) Hey there. Yeah, I guess that this has probably been quite a shock for you - is that fair to say? I think that you’re just getting started on this journey of trying to figure out your sexuality. It is important to try and let nature take its course - time is the best thing for this kind of journey. It will get better for you, but it may take a while. What do you think? Also, I’m wondering what you meant by this in your first comment: I have next to no sexual attraction to men apart from the odd joke with friends Speak soon. Edited December 14, 2020 by Monsoon MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrus_5 Posted December 15, 2020 Author Share Posted December 15, 2020 It really has come as a surprise as I always thought I was straight until very recently. I also understand that it may take a lot of time to fully understand and accept who I am and I just need to be patient. in regards to the "I have next to no sexual attraction to men apart from the odd joke with friends" comment its poorly worded by me and what I mean by that is some friends regularly call me gay and unfortunately make some homophobic jokes which makes me feel really uncomfortable and instead of telling them how I feel or confronting them I just play along when they call me gay or say nothing about the horrible jokes MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 Hey @Garrus_5 Thanks for clearing up what you meant about the comment - I was just curious about it. But yeah, with this process, patience is key and you'll get there eventually . What do you think you'll do now? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrus_5 Posted December 15, 2020 Author Share Posted December 15, 2020 I don’t know what I will do in all honesty. I guess I just need to do some exploring and be patient MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 16, 2020 Share Posted December 16, 2020 Hey Yeah, I think that's all you can do at the moment. You just have to see how it goes and try to enjoy the process as much as you can. Remember, we are always here for you if you need us. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrus_5 Posted December 16, 2020 Author Share Posted December 16, 2020 Ok I will try my hardest to just enjoy the process. Thanks for the support it means a lot MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 Hey, No worries . Remember, we are always here if you need us. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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