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So...I like her and she is confusing me


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So, I have a friend...who I really like. She identifies as a girl and so do I. The problem is that I don't know if she is straight or not. She has hinted (a couple of times) that she might be bi, but I'm not sure if it was a joke or not.

Some background:


-we have been friends since kindergarten (currently in the 8th grade) but got more closer in the third-fourth grade. Then grew apart in the fifth and sixth and became closer again in the seventh grade.


-in my home country, the grades (like the 4th, 5th, 6t, etc grades) are divided into letters (for example 8.a, 8.b, and 8.c class) every class has about 26 students, we all have different time-schedules, but some classes overlap. She is in the 8.a grade and I'm in the 8.b.


-I'm a lesbian and not out to her


-She has a friend/classmate with whom we have a joke in our friend group that they are "married" (they sit on each other's lap before a common class we have together and so on) and this makes me always extremely jealous (even though I don't show it. Been getting pretty good at faking my emotions these last years)


The problem is that she is really flirty with me. She kisses me on the cheek, hugs me for long periods of time. We had a sleepover at some point and I was watching a movie while cuddling with her (aka I was laying beside her with my hand over her stomach, my head resting on her shoulder and every time I tried to take my hand off (I thought I was making her uncomfortable) she pulled it back.


I don't know what to make of these signs. Does she like me or is she just like this overall? Is she bi or straight? Does she like her classmate/friend?

These are just some questions racing through my mind every time I see her or when I think about her (which is constantly).


What should I make of these signs and should I just straight up come out to her and ask her?

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Hey @Mammu


Thanks for sharing :). From what you've said, she is definitely showing signs that she likes you. If your friend told you about someone acting like that around them, what would you think? I believe that it's important to go after what you want and not fake your emotions. What do you think you want to do?


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@Monsoon thank you for responding.

Well, first of all, I'd like to go back to school. Been staying home today and tomorrow since I have a sore throat and you can't to school with any of the Corona symptoms.

Secondly, well I'd like to tell her that I'm a lesbian (she will most likely not care at all since she thinks that gay relationships are cute and she might be bi herself).

I kinda had this idea of inviting her over for a sleepover, when both my parents and my little sis go away and telling her then. The problem is, that they aren't going anywhere. My dad might go away but my mom isn't leaving. I mean yeah my Lil sis can just go to our grandma's place and that would be all but my mom would still probably stay home and hell Nah I'm inviting my crush (Let's call her E) over while she is at home. Plus, she knows E pretty closely so that would make things kinda awkward.

Another thing that makes this more complicated is that I haven't dated anyone. Ever. It's kinda not a thing where I live (at least at this age), it's considered more of a weird than a normal thing, and of course, when you are 14, dating automatically means that it's definitely sexual. I don't know if she thinks like that tho.

I just don't know what to do...

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Hey Mammu :)


I'm wondering, if you do come out to her, what would you hope to get out of it e.g. do you want her to be your girlfriend? I think that deep down, most people know what they want to do in these kinds of situations, but it's just that what they actually want might seem too scary to think about doing. What do you think?



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@Monsoon thank you for replying!


Yes, I'm hoping that once I come out to her that I find the courage to tell her that I like her. She is such a wild person that there is a small chance that she'll like me back so that's what I'm counting on.



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