Lucy-Bee Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 The fact I’m asking that question says a lot but I’ve been with my fiancé for 6 months... it’s been a whirlwind, we met, he was perfect, treated me amazingly and proposed weeks after being together. All to good to be true you’d think but I was happy until he started acting weird... I’ve been cheated on I know the signs so I checked his phone and found messages of a sexual nature to a contact saved under a mans name. At first I flew off the handle, I was angry but eventually we sat and spoke, he didn’t give much away. I decided to stay with him and work on us but now I can’t get the thoughts out of my head... I feel our relationship has been a lie! There’s so much more to this but I’m just so confused I love this guy I put everything into him... do I trust that he won’t do this again? I’m usually very cut and dry if you cheat your gone but I know he hasn’t met up with anyone it’s just texts - I realise how pathetic I sound 😠please help MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 Hey @Life is harden Welcome to our community - I'm one of the digital support mentors here at Ditch the Label. We are here to help you through this. What you said is not pathetic at all - your reaction is completely normal and valid. You did not expect to find this out about the person you love, so it's normal to react in the way that you did. I'm wondering, what is your gut feeling telling you about your situation? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy-Bee Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 When I speak to him I trust him but my thoughts wander... he’s very much just brushed things under the carpet and I’m expected to forget... I’m seriously done with life every person I trust let’s me down! I really thought he was different and now I feel stupid for going with my heart because I judged so wrongly! When I try to talk about how I feel he just gets angry and tells me I have issues and yes maybe I do... maybe it is me... but where is his support?? I’m so confused and have no one to talk too I just pretend everything is ok and I’m scared what it’s doing to my mental health MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 (edited) Hey @Life is harden I'm sorry that you're feeling unsupported and that he gets angry whenever you bring it up again. The thing is, he hurt you, and although you're trying to move past it, you should be able to talk about your feelings without him reacting in that way. I know you're confused at the moment, but just know that we are here for you and you can talk to us . You're doing the right thing by reaching out to others. I'm wondering, what do you think would be the best thing for you to do next in your situation? Stay strong <3 - Monsoon Edited November 17, 2020 by Monsoon MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy-Bee Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 I really don’t know... one minute I want to scream and shout and end it so I don’t hurt everyday but I know the loss of him will also hurt... I don’t even know if he cares anymore I feel like he wouldn’t care he would just leave if I told him too and I want him to fight! I want him to show me I’m important and he never does... I answer my own questions but I can’t let go of him. When I’m feeling more positive and not so down we are really happy but then my thoughts take over every now and then and I get mad/sad/depressed... is it me? He says it’s me and I need to stop being so negative, am I ruining us? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted November 18, 2020 Share Posted November 18, 2020 (edited) Hey there. I don't think you are ruining your relationship at all. Your cycle of feelings is completely normal and valid given your situation. The thing is that you are still very much processing what happened and it will take time for you to come out on the better side of it, and until then, your partner does need to be patient with you. Have you spoken to him about how he isn't showing how important you are? Stay strong <3 Edited November 18, 2020 by Monsoon MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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